Kitty Kitty Bang Bang

Widowed Jewish Lady at the Beach
 

A widowed Jewish lady, still in good shape, was sunbathing on a most deserted beach at Ft. Myers Florida. She looked up and noticed that a man her age, also in good shape, had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand near hers and began reading a book.  Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him.  "How are you today?"

"Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book.
 
"I love the beach.  Do you come here often?" she asked.

"First time since my wife passed away 2 years ago," he replied and turned back to his book..
 
"I'm sorry to hear that. My husband passed away three years ago and it is very lonely, she countered. "Do you live around here?" she asked.
 
"Yes, I live over in Cape Coral," he answered, and again he resumed reading.
 
Trying to find a topic of common interest, she persisted," Do you like pussy cats?"

With that, the man dropped his book, came over to her blanket, tore off her swimsuit and gave her the most passionate lovemaking of her life.

When the cloud of sand began to settle, she gasped and asked the man, "How did you know that was what I wanted?"
The man replied. "How did you know my name was Katz?"

6 Words that makes your resume suck -- excellent article

Hi Friends,

This article is part of a series called How to Write a Resume. To start this series from the beginning, read the introduction.

I've used a few bad words in my life. S$it, you probably have too. But when the wrong words appear on your resume, it sucks.

These sucky words are not of the four-letter variety. These words are common. They are accepted. They litter the average resume with buzzword badness. Hiring managers can identify sucky words in seconds, leaving your resume work worthless.

Resume Writing Series:
What is a Killer Resume? 10 Resume Do's 10 Resume Sins Resume Anatomy 6 Sucky Resume Words 6 Resume Action Words 8 Resume Keywords 3 Resume Formats Free Resume Examples Free Resume Template

So how do you write a wicked resume without the suck? How do you turn the wrong words into right? To help you land the job interview, here's how to spin the 6 sucky resume words into skills that sizzle.

1. Responsible For

My lips pucker and make sour sucking noises when I read "Responsible For" on a resume. Of course you're responsible for something. But how many? How long? Who? What? When? Rather than waste the hiring manager's time reading a vague list of responsibilities, be specific and use quantitative figures to back up your cited skills and accomplishments.

Employers want the numerical facts. Write percentages, dollar amounts, and numbers to best explain your accomplishments. Be specific to get the point across quickly. Prove you have the goods to get hired.

BAD

• Responsible for writing user guides on deadline.

GOOD

• Wrote six user guides for 15,000 users two weeks before deadline.

BAD

• Responsible for production costs.

GOOD

• Reduced production costs by 15 percent over three months.

The resume that avoids vague "responsibilities" and sticks to facts detailing figures, growth, reduced costs, number of people managed, budget size, sales, and revenue earned gets the job interview.

2. Experienced

Are you experienced? Sexy. Rather than cite Jimi Hendrix on your resume, pleeease just say what your experience entails. Saying you're experienced at something and giving the facts on that experience are two very different approaches.

BAD

• Experience programming in PHP.

GOOD

• Programmed an online shopping cart for a Fortune 500 company in PHP.

Hiring managers want to know what experience, skills, and qualifications you offer. Do tell them without saying, "I am experienced."

3. Excellent written communication skills

Yes, I realize this isn't a single word but rather a phrase. This phrase must die. It's on most resumes. Is it on yours?

BAD

• I have excellent written communication skills.

GOOD

• Wrote jargon-free online help documentation and reduced customer support calls by 50 percent.

If you've got writing skills, do say what you write and how you communicate. Are you writing email campaigns, marketing materials, or user documentation? Are you word smithing legal contracts, business plans, or proposing proposals? However you wrap your words, be sure to give the details.

4. Team Player

Are we playing baseball here? Unless you want to be benched with the other unemployed "team players" then get some hard facts behind your job pitch.

BAD

• Team player working well in large and small groups.

GOOD

• Worked with clients, software developers, technical writers, and interface designers to deliver financial reporting software three months before deadline.

If you want to hit a home run then do explicitly say what teams you play on and qualify the teams' achievements.

5. Detail Oriented

What does detail oriented mean? Give the specifics to the details with which you are oriented. Please, orient your reader to the details.

BAD

• Detail oriented public relations professional.

GOOD

• Wrote custom press releases targeting 25 news agencies across Europe.

If you have the details, do share them with the hiring manager. Give the facts, the numbers, the time lines, the dollar figure, the quantitative data that sells your skills and disorients the competition.

6. Successful

Hopefully you only list the successes on your resume. So if everything is a success, then why write the s-word? Stick to showing your success by giving concrete examples of what you've done to be successful! Let your skills, qualifications, and achievements speak for you.

BAD

• Successfully sold the product.

GOOD

• Increased sales of organic chocolate by 32 percent.

When it comes to your successes, please don't be shy. Boast your best, sing your praises, and sell your skills.

Final Words

There you have it. Six of the suckiest words (or phrases) commonly found on resumes today. By focusing on the facts, detailing the details, and qualifying your qualifications you may just land yourself the job interview.

There are soooo many sucky words found on resumes today. Got one to add? Do share the suck.

You have my word that you will not regret spending the two minutes needed to read this.

Go Kiss the World - Subroto Bagchi 

This speech was delivered to the Class of 2006 at the IIM, Bangalore on defining success by Subroto Bagchi CEO MindTree.  

I was the last child of a small-time government servant, in a family of five brothers. My earliest memory of my father is as that of a District Employment Officer in Koraput, Orissa. It was, and remains as back of beyond as you can imagine. There was no electricity; no primary school nearby and water did not flow out of a tap. As a result, I did not go to school until the age of eight; I was home-schooled. My father used to get transferred every year. The family belongings fit into the back of a jeep - so the family moved from place to place and without any trouble, my Mother would set up an establishment and get us going. Raised by a widow who had come as a refugee from the then East Bengal, she was a matriculate when she married my Father.    

My parents set the foundation of my life and the value system, which makes me what I am today and largely, defines what success means to me today.

As District Employment Officer, my father was given a jeep by the government. There was no garage in the Office, so the jeep was parked in our house. My father refused to use it to commute to the office. He told us that the jeep is an expensive resource given by the government- he reiterated to us that it was not "his jeep" but the government's jeep. Insisting that he would use it only to tour the interiors, he would walk to his office on normal days.. He also made sure that we never sat in the government jeep - we could sit in it only when it was stationary.

That was our early childhood lesson in governance - a lesson that corporate managers learn the hard way, some never do.

The driver of the jeep was treated with respect due to any other member of my Father's office. As small children, we were taught not to call him by his name. We had to use the suffix 'dada' whenever we were to refer to him in public or private. When I grew up to own a car and a driver by the name of Raju was appointed - I repeated the lesson to my two small daughters. They have, as a result, grown up to call Raju, 'Raju Uncle' - very different from many of their friends who refer to their family driver, as 'my driver'. When I hear that term from a school- or college-going person, I cringe.

To me, the lesson was significant - you treat small people with more respect than how you treat big people. It is more important to respect your subordinates than your superiors.

Our day used to start with the family huddling around my Mother's chulha - an earthen fire place she would build at each place of posting where she would cook for the family. There was neither gas, nor electrical stoves.The morning routine started with tea. As the brew was served, Father would ask us to read aloud the editorial page of The Statesman's 'muffosil' edition - delivered one day late. We did not understand much of what we were reading. But the ritual was meant for us to know that the world was larger than Koraput district and the English I speak today, despite having studied in an Oriya medium school, has to do with that routine. After reading the newspaper aloud, we were told to fold it neatly. Father taught us a simple lesson.

He used to say, "You should leave your newspaper and your toilet, the way you expect to find it". That lesson was about showing consideration to others. Business begins and ends with that simple precept.

Being small children, we were always enamored with advertisements in the newspaper for transistor radios - we did not have one. We saw other people having radios in their homes and each time there was an advertisement of Philips, Murphy or Bush radios, we would ask Father when we could get one. Each time, my Father would reply that we did not need one because he already had five radios - alluding to his five sons.

We also did not have a house of our own and would occasionally ask Father as to when, like others, we would live in our own house. He would give a similar reply," We do not need a house of our own. I already own five houses". His replies did not gladden our hearts in that instant.

Nonetheless, we learnt that it is important not to measure personal success and sense of well being through material possessions.

Government houses seldom came with fences. Mother and I collected twigs and built a small fence. After lunch, my Mother would never sleep. She would take her kitchen utensils and with those she and I would dig the rocky, white ant infested surrounding. We planted flowering bushes. The white ants destroyed them. My mother brought ash from her chulha and mixed it in the earth and we planted the seedlings all over again. This time, they bloomed. At that time, my father's transfer order came. A few neighbors told my mother why she was taking so much pain to beautify a government house, why she was planting seeds that would only benefit the next occupant. My mother replied that it did not matter to her that she would not see the flowers in full bloom. She said, "I have to create a bloom in a desert and whenever I am given a new place, I must leave it more beautiful than what I had inherited".

That was my first lesson in success. It is not about what you create for yourself, it is what you leave behind that defines success.

My mother began and galvanized the nation in to patriotic fervor. Other than reading out the newspaper to my mother, I had no clue about how I could be part of the action. So, after reading her the newspaper, every day I would land up near the University's water tank, which served the community. I would spend hours under it, imagining that there could be spies who would come to poison the water and I had to watch for them. I would daydream about catching one and how the next day, I would be featured in the newspaper. Unfortunately for me, the spies at war ignored the sleepy town of Bhubaneswar and I never got a chance to catch one in action.. Yet, that act unlocked my imagination.

Imagination is everything. If we can imagine a future, we can create it, if we can create that future, others will live in it. That is the essence of success.

Over the next few years, my mother's eyesight dimmed but in me she created a larger vision, a vision with which I continue to see the world and, I sense, through my eyes, she was seeing too. As the next few years unfolded, her vision deteriorated and she was operated for cataract. I remember, when she returned after her operation and she saw my face clearly for the first time, she was astonished. She said, "Oh my God, I did not know you were so fair".. I remain mighty pleased with that adulation even till date. Within weeks of getting her sight back, she developed a corneal ulcer and, overnight, became blind in
both eyes. That was 1969. She died in 2002. In all those 32 years of living with blindness, she never complained about her fate even once. Curious to know what she saw with blind eyes, I asked her once if she sees darkness. She replied, "No, I do not see darkness. I only see light even with my eyes closed".

Until she was eighty years of age, she did her morning yoga everyday, swept her own room and washed her own clothes.

To me, success is about the sense of independence; it is about not seeing the world but seeing the light.

Over the many intervening years, I grew up, studied, joined the industry and began to carve my life's own journey. I began my life as a clerk in a government office, went on to become a Management Trainee with the DCM group and eventually found my life's calling with the IT industry when fourth generation computers came to India in 1981.. Life took me places - I worked with outstanding people, challenging assignments and traveled all over the world.

In 1992, while I was posted in the US, I learnt that my father, living a retired life with my eldest brother, had suffered a third degree burn injury and was admitted in the Safderjung Hospital in Delhi. I flew back to attend to him - he remained for a few days in critical stage, bandaged from neck to toe.

The Safderjung Hospital is a cockroach infested, dirty, inhuman place. The overworked, under-resourced sisters in the burn ward are both victims and perpetrators of dehumanized life at its worst. One morning, while attending to my Father, I realized that the blood bottle was empty and fearing that air would go into his vein, I asked the attending nurse to change it. She bluntly told me to do it myself. In that horrible theater of death, I was in pain and frustration and anger. Finally when she relented and came, my Father opened his eyes and murmured to her, "Why have you not gone home yet?" Here was a man on his deathbed but more concerned about the overworked nurse than his own state. I was stunned at his stoic self.

There I learnt that there is no limit to how concerned you can be for another human being and what the limit of inclusion is you can create.

My father died the next day. He was a man whose success was defined by his principles, his frugality, his universalism and his sense of inclusion.

Above all, he taught me that success is your ability to rise above your discomfort, whatever may be your current state. You can, if you want, raise your consciousness above your immediate surroundings. Success is not about building material comforts - the transistor that he never could buy or the house that he never owned. His success was about the legacy he left, the memetic continuity of his ideals that grew beyond the smallness of a ill-paid, unrecognized government servant's world..

My father was a fervent believer in the British Raj. He sincerely doubted the capability of the post-independence Indian political parties to govern the country. To him, the lowering of the Union Jack was a sad event. My Mother was the exact opposite. When Subhash Bose quit the Indian National Congress and came to Dacca, my mother, then a schoolgirl, garlanded him. She learnt to spin khadi and joined an underground movement that trained her in using daggers and swords. Consequently, our household saw diversity in the political outlook of the two. On major issues concerning the world, the Old Man and the Old Lady had differing opinions.

In them, we learnt the power of disagreements, of dialogue and the essence of living with diversity in thinking.

Success is not about the ability to create a definitive dogmatic end state; it is about the unfolding of thought processes, of dialogue and continuum.

Two years back, at the age of eighty-two, Mother had a paralytic stroke and was lying in a government hospital in Bhubaneswar. I flew down from the US where I was serving my second stint, to see her. I spent two weeks with her in the hospital as she remained in a paralytic state. She was neither getting better nor moving on. Eventually I had to return to work. While leaving her behind, I kissed her face. In that paralytic state and a garbled voice, she said,

"Why are you kissing me, go kiss the world." Her river was nearing its journey, at the confluence of life and death, this woman who came to India as a refugee, raised by a widowed Mother, no more educated than high school, married to an anonymous government servant whose last salary was Rupees Three Hundred, robbed of her eyesight by fate and crowned by adversity was telling me to go and kiss the world!

Success to me is about Vision. It is the ability to rise above the immediacy of pain. It is about imagination. It is about sensitivity to small people. It is about building inclusion. It is about connectedness to a larger world existence. It is about personal tenacity. It is about giving back more to life than you take out of it. It is about creating extra-ordinary success with ordinary lives.

Thank you very much; I wish you good luck and God's speed. Go! kiss the world.        

--
Ignorance is "Ignoring to Change" & Intelligence is "Making the Change".

Live like an Eagle

A repeat for some..

Our lives are not determined by what happens to us but by how we react to what happens,
Not by what life brings to us, but by the attitude we bring to life.

A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events, and outcomes.

It is a catalyst, a spark that creates extraordinary results.
Let's change to make a change!!!


"If you focus on results, you will never change.
If you focus on change, you will get results"

 

 
 

A Date !!!!!! Really good-Must read

Sending again to all the friends.... though its a repeat, but worth it.       date ! After 25  years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said I love you but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you. The other woman that my wife w anted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally. That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie. "What's wrong, are you well," she asked? My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a sur prise invitation is a sign of bad news. "I thought that it would be pleasant to be with you," I responded. "Just the two of us." She thought about it for a moment, and then said, "I would like that very much." That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed t hat she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's. "I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed, "she said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait to hear about our meeting". We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady.. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. "It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she said. "Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor," I responded. During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation - nothing extraordinary, but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We talked so much that we missed the movie. As we arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you." I agreed. "How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home. "Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined," I answered. A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I did to do anything for her. Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined. An attached note said: "I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son." At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: "I LOVE YOU!" and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than God and your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till "some other time." ********** Pass this along to everyone with an aging parent, to a child, to an adult, to anyone with a parent. Here's hoping today is better than yesterday and tomorrow.

Research on Hosiery dresses

Dear,

 

Am doing research on ready to wear / ready to stitch hosiery dresses...pls pass ur comments.

Harry

--

Give your brain a boost

 

You're hitting 30 and feel your brain is slowing down. Here are seven steps to prevent cognitive decline

PHOTO: RAMESH KURUP 
 
REGULAR EXERCISE Keeps your body fit and brain alert

Around the time we hit 30, our brains begin a slow, steady downward trajectory, or so popular wisdom would have it. But cognitive decline is by no means an inescapable side effect of aging. In fact, according to a flurry of new reports, you can count eract age-related changes in the brain with a surprisingly simple regimen of activities guaranteed to nurture and fortify your mental muscle power. Here are seven easy ways to keep your brain quick, sharp, and bristling with youthful vigour.

Surf the Net often

When you search the Internet, you engage key centres in your brain that control decision-making and complex reasoning. And these few clicks may be more mentally stimulating than reading, say UCLA scientists. Their studies found that Internet searching uses neural circuitry that's not activated during reading — but only in people with prior Internet experience. MRI results showed almost three times more brain activity in regular Internet searchers than in first-timers, suggesting that repeated Googling can be a great way to build cognitive strength over time.

Tip: Spend around 20 minutes a few days a week searching topics you've always wanted to learn more about regardless of how seemingly frivolous: Whether you're researching a celebrity's latest pratfalls or musical harmony, the benefits to your brain are the same.

Exercise

Yes, exercise can stave off or delay dementia but did you know it can actually reverse brain aging too? A team from the University of Illinois' Beckman Institute recently reviewed dozens of past studies and found that aerobic exercise boosts not only speed and sharpness of thought but also the volume of brain tissue. As little as 50 minutes of brisk walking three times a week was found to have this brain-expanding effect.

Brush and floss

Oral health is clearly linked to brain health, according to a team of British psychiatrists and dentists. After studying thousands of subjects ages 20 to 59, they found that gingivitis and periodontal disease were associated with worse cognitive function throughout adult life not just in later years.

Tip: Follow your dentist's advice. Floss daily and brush your teeth for two minutes at least once a day.

Drink sparingly

Limiting cocktails is beneficial for cognitive function.

Keep your alcohol consumption within the safe and healthful limit: no more than one drink a day. The link between drinking and reduced brain volume was stronger in women probably because smaller people are more susceptible to alcohol's effects.

Eat blueberries

New research shows that the purple-hued fruits may help sharpen your thought processes. The researchers theorise that anthocyan in the dark blue pigment found in blueberries is responsible for these cognitive changes; it contains chemicals that may cross the blood-brain barrier and lodge in regions that govern learning and memory.

Tip: Stock up on blueberries when they're on sale, and sprinkle them over your cereal or yogurt or fold them into your smoothie.

Do puzzles

Amazingly, you'll knock a decade off your cognitive age.

In a University of Alabama study of nearly 3,000 older men and women, those who participated in 10 60-to 75-minute sessions of brain-boosting exercise sharpened their mental abilities so much that their brains performed like those of people more than 10 years younger.

Meditate

More than just a great stress reliever, meditation can also enhance your brain's grey matter.

Tip: Make the practise a regular habit. The participants in a recent study meditated an average of 40 minutes a day. But you can start with 15 on your lunch break or before you leave for work. Sit upright, close your eyes, and focus on whatever you're experiencing at the moment, whether it's birds chirping in the distance or just the sound of your own breathing.

--
Ignorance is "Ignoring to Change" & Intelligence is "Making the Change".

KERALA BANANAS

So, you think you've seen enough bananas in your time? Well, now have a look at these ones from Kerala, attached. I'm sure you'll go bananas! I sure did!!

--
Ignorance is "Ignoring to Change" & Intelligence is "Making the Change".

 

This clip is worth a thousand words...

 

One day, a son asks his dad, "Daddy, would you like to run a marathon with me?
The father says, "Yes". And they run their first marathon together.

Another time, the son asks his dad again, "Daddy, would you like to run a marathon ...with me?
The father says, "Yes son". And they do.

One day, the son asks his father, "Daddy, would you run the Ironman with me?
The Ironman is the most difficult triathlon ever; 4 km swimming, 180 km biking, 42 km running?
His father says, "Yes".


The story looks simple until you watch the clip. Amazing, how much love CAN achieve.... This clip is worth a thousand words...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFVGdZOhlL0

From A Scottish Teacher

I was testing children in my Glasgow Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven.

I asked them,  'If I sold my house and my car, had a big jumble sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?'

'NO!' the children answered.

'If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?'

Again, the answer was 'No!'. 

 I was so proud of them

 'Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave sweeties to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?'

 Again, they all answered 'No!'. 

 I was just bursting with pride for them.

 I continued, ' Then how can I get into heaven?'

  

 A little boy shouted out  'YUV GOTTA BE FOOKN' DEAD..........' 
 

--
"Mohabbat me hum mashoor kya huwe..
har harkat humari deewangi lagnay lagi..
lafz jo niklay haal-e-dil ka bayan karne ,
zamane ko har wo baat shahyari lagnay lagi"
~ By Harryanand

Time will make a difference!

Oh, I love this one.......... 

 Be nice to others because . . .
 

 Time will make a difference! 

  

 
 

 One day, you may not be the "BIG DOG" 

 
 

just the old dog........                     
 

--
"Mohabbat me hum mashoor kya huwe..
har harkat humari deewangi lagnay lagi..
lafz jo niklay haal-e-dil ka bayan karne ,
zamane ko har wo baat shahyari lagnay lagi"
~ By Harryanand

Excellent Advice from Colin Powell

The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve.
Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity..
An important attribute in successful people is their impatience with
negative thinking and negative acting people.

 

As you grow, your associates  will change. Some of your friends will not want you to go on. They will want you to stay where they are. Friends that don't help you climb will want you
to crawl. Your friends will stretch your vision or choke your dream. Those
that don't increase you will eventually decrease you.

Never receive counsel from unproductive people. Never discuss your problems
with someone incapable of contributing to the solution, because those who
never succeed themselves are always first to tell you how. Not everyone has
a right to speak into your life. You are certain to get the worst of the
bargain when you exchange ideas with the wrong person. Don't follow anyone
who's not going anywhere.

With some people you spend an evening: with others you invest it. Be careful
where you stop to inquire for directions along the road of life. Wise is the
person who fortifies his life with the right friendships. If you run with
wolves, you will learn how to howl. But, if you associate with eagles, you
will learn how to soar to great heights.

"A mirror reflects a man's face, but what he is really like is shown by the
kind of friends he chooses."

The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those with whom you
closely associate - for the good and the bad.


"In Prosperity Our Friends Know Us. In Adversity We Know Our friends."

"Never make someone a priority when you are only an option for them."

"If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit
in little matters. Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing
attitude..". . ............ ...... ...

'Three Kick Rule'

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Cowra . He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell int o a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it." The old farmer Peter replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here.." The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial lawyers in Australia and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own." The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in North Cowra .. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.' The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?" The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up." The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees! His second kick to t he midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie. Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn." (I love this part)                                                 The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck." When you are educated, you'll believe only half of what you hear. When you're intelligent, you know which half. .

Viagra HQ

COMPANY HEAD QUARTERS OF PFIZER PHARMACEUTICLES ( VIAGRA DIVISION )

 

 

 

 

 

__._,_

After "TEACHER'S DAY".

No other whisky sud be taken. "Swami harryanand ki jai ho."

Mukesh songs: vintage 1941-1970

Hi,
Enjoy a big collection of songs. Download if you like.

 
http://www.indianscreen.com/Mukesh.htm

Look Alikes........

---

See the Web's breaking stories, chosen by people like you. Check out Yahoo! Buzz.

The perfect man and woman

 

CLICK HERE

Good read…. ‘Worth reflecting upon….

London Times Obituary

 

An Obituary printed in the London Times....... . Interesting and sadly

rather true.

 

'Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who

has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was,

since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He

will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

 

Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the

worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

 

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more

than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in

charge).

 

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but

overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy

charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended

from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for

reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

 

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the

job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly

children.

 

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental

consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could

not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an

abortion.

 

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses;

and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense

took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your

own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

 

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to

realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in

her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

 

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust his

wife, Discretion his daughter, Responsibility his son, Reason

 

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;

 

I Know My Rights

 

I Want It Now

 

Someone Else Is To Blame

 

I'm A Victim

 

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If

you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do

nothing.

The Result Of Initiative

   

Some years ago, three brothers left the farm to work in the city. They were all hired by the same company at the same pay. Three years later, Jim was being paid $500 a month, Frank was receiving $1,000, but George was now making $1,500.

 Their father decided to visit the employer. He listened to the confused father and said, "I will let the boys explain for themselves."

 Jim was summoned to the supervisor's office and was told, "Jim, I understand the Far East Importers has just brought in a large transport plane loaded with Japanese import goods. Will you please go over to the airport and get a cargo inventory?"

Three minutes later, Jim returned to the office. "The cargo was one thousand bolts of Japanese silk," Jim reported. "I got the information over the telephone from a member of the crew."

When Jim left, Frank, the $1,000 a month brother, was called. "Frank," said the supervisor, "I wish you'd go out to the airport and get an inventory of the cargo plane which was just brought in by Far East Importers."

An hour later, Frank was back in the office with a list showing that the plane carried 1,000 bolts of Japanese silk, 500 transistor radios, and 1,000 hand painted bamboo trays. George, the $1,500 a month brother, was given identical instructions. Working hours were over when he finally returned.

"The transport plane carried one thousand bolts of Japanese silk," he began. "It was on sale at sixty dollars a bolt, so I took a two-day option on the whole lot. I have wired a designer in New York offering the silk at seventy-five dollars a bolt. I expect to have the order tomorrow. I also found five hundred transistor radios, which I sold over the telephone at a profit of $2.30 each. There were a thousand bamboo trays, but they were of poor quality, so I didn't try to do anything with them."

 When George left the office, the employer smiled. "You probably noticed," he said, "that Jim doesn't do what he's told, Frank does only what he'd told, but George does without being told."

The future is full of promise for one who shows initiative

 

 

--
"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." ~ Socrates

Obama