Brilliant ones

Genius Dog 

A butcher watching over his shop is really surprised when he saw a dog coming inside the shop. He shoos him away. But later, the dog is back again.
So, he goes over to the dog and notices he has a note in his mouth. He takes the note and it reads "Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please. The dog has money in his mouth, as well."

The butcher looks inside and, lo and behold, there is a ten dollar Note there. So he takes the money and puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, placing it in the dog's mouth. The butcher is so impressed, and since it's about closing time, he decides to shut up shop and follow the dog.

So off he goes. The dog is walking down the street when he comes To a level crossing.

The dog puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the button. Then he waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to turn. They do, and he walks across the road, with the butcher following him all the way.

The dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the timetable.

The butcher is in awe at this stage. The dog checks out the times, and then sits on one of the seats provided. Along comes a bus. The dog walks around to the front, looks at the number, and goes back to his seat.

Another bus comes. Again the dog goes and looks at the number, notices it's the right bus, and climbs on. The butcher, by now, open-mouthed, follows him onto the bus.

The bus travels through the town and out into the suburbs, the dog Looking at the scenery. Eventually he gets up, and moves to the front of the bus. He stands on 2 back paws and pushes the button to stop the bus. Then he gets off, his groceries still in his mouth.

Well, dog and butcher are walking along the road, and then the dog turns into a house. He walks up the path, and drops the groceries on the step.

Then he walks back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself against the door. He goes back down the path, runs up to the door and again, it throws himself against it. There's no answer at the house, so the dog goes back down the path, jumps up on a narrow wall, and walks along the perimeter of the garden. He gets to the window, and beats his head against it several times, walks back, jumps off, and waits at the door.

The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts abusing the dog, kicking him and punching him, and swearing at him.

The butcher runs up, and stops the guy. "What in heaven's name are You doing? The dog is a genius. He could be on TV, for the life of me!" to which the guy responds: "You call this clever? This is the second time this week that this stupid dog's forgotten his key."

Reflection:
Looks like some, people will never be satisfied with what they've got. 

I am threading the eye of a needle with an elephant !

by Yogesh Harry (Notes) on Thursday, January 3, 2013 at 4:44am

A Brahmin once asked Narada Muni, "Oh! Are you going to meet the Lord? Will you please ask Him when I'm gong to meet Him?" "All right," Narada agreed. "I shall ask Him." As Narada proceeded, he met a cobbler who was sitting under a tree mending shoes, and the cobbler similarly asked Narada, "Oh! Are you going to see God? Will you please inquire from Him when I'm going to meet Him?" When Narada went to Vaikuntha planets he fulfilled their request and asked Narayana about the request of the Brahmin and the cobbler. Narayana replied, "After leaving this body the cobbler shall come here to Me." "What about Brahmin?" Narada asked. "He will have to remain there for number of births. I do not know when he is coming." Narada Muni was astonished, and he finally said, "I cannot understand the mystery of this." "That you will see," Narayana said. "When they ask you what I am doing in My abode, tell them I am threading the eye of a needle with an elephant." 

When Narada Muni returned to earth and approached the Brahmin, the Brahmin said, "Oh! You have seen the Lord? What was He doing?" " He was threading an elephant through the eye of a needle," Narada answered. "I don't believe such nonsense," the Brahmin replied. Narada could immediately understand that the man had no faith and that he was simply a reader of books. Narada then left and went on to the cobbler, who asked him, "Oh! You have seen the Lord? Tell me, what was He doing?" "He was threading an elephant through the eye of a needle," Narada replied. The cobbler began to weep. "Oh! My Lord is so wonderful, He can do anything." "Do you really believe that the Lord can push an elephant through the eye of a needle?" Narada asked. "Why not?" the cobbler said. "How is that?" Narada asked. "I am sitting under this banyan tree," The cobbler answered, "and you can see that so many fruits are falling daily, each fruit have seeds in it and in each seed there is a banyan tree like this one. If within a small seed there can be a big tree like this, why it is difficult to accept that the Lord is passing an elephant through the eye of a

Some lighter moments for husbands (caution : 15 mins of hearty laugh)!

by Yogesh Harry (Notes) on Tuesday, December 25, 2012 at 2:54pm

Husband texts to wife on cell..

"Hi, what r u doing Darling?"

Wife: I'm dying..!

Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?"

Wife: "U idiot! I'm dying my hair.."

Husband: "Bloody English Language!


Angry wife to her husband


An Angry Wife To Her Husband 0n Phone:  
"Where d Hell Are You ...?"

Husband: Darling You Remember That Jewellery Shop Where You Saw The Diamond Necklace n Totally Fell In Love With It n I Didn't Have Money That Time n I said "Baby It'll Be Yours 1 Day ... "O:)

Wife, With A Smile & Blushing: Yeah I Remember That My Love!

Husband: I‘m in the Pub Just Next To That Shop


A Special Package for Business Men.

An Airline Introduced A Special Package For Business Men. Buy Ur Ticket Get Ur Wife's Ticket Free.

After Great Success, The Company Sent Letters To All The Wives Asking How Was The Trip.

All Of Them Gave A Same Reply..."Which Trip?"


Husband was seriously ill


Husband was seriously ill. Doc to wife: Give him healthy breakfast, be pleasant & in gud mood, don’t discuss ur problems, no tv serial, don’t demand new clothes & gold jewels,
Do this for 1 yr & he will be ok.

On the way home.. Husband: what did the doc say ?

Wife:- .No chance for u to survive


An intelligent wife


''An Intelligent Wife Is One Who Makes Sure She Spends So Much
That Her Husband Can't Afford Another Women"


New SIM to surprise her husband

Woman Buys A New Sim Card Puts It In Her Phone And Decides To Surprise Her Husband Who Is Seated On The Couch In The Living Room. She Goes To The Kitchen, Calls Her Husband With The New Number: "Hello Darling"

The Husband Responds In A Low Tone: "Let Me Call U Back Later Honey, The Dumb Lady Is In The Kitchen..


Wife treats husband

A Wife Treats Hubby By Taking Him To A Lap Dance Club For His Birthday ..

At The Club: Doorman Says: Hi Jim How R You?


Wife Asks: How Does He Know You?           
Jim Says: Oh Dear, I Play Football with Him


Inside Barman Says: The Usual Jim ?          
Jim Says To Wife: Before You Say Anything, He's On the Darts Team in My Local


Next A Lap Dancer Says: Hi Jim       
Do You Crave Special Again?

The Wife Storms Out Dragging Jim With Her & Jumps Into A Taxi..

Driver Says "Hey Jimmy Boy, You Picked Up An Ugly One This Time.."

Jim's Funeral Is On Sunday


Cool message by a wife

Dear Mother-in-law, "Don't Teach me how 2 handle my children, I'm living with one of yours & he needs a lot of improvement"


Lion bounced on wife


In an African Safari, A LION suddenly bounced on Santa's wife.      

WIFE: Shoot him! Shoot him!         
SANTA: Yes, Yes. I'm changing d battery of my camera..



 
Part & Art of living

Having "WIFE" Is A Part Of Living...

But Having "GIRLFRIEND" Along With The "WIFE" Is Art Of Living.


Head & Neck of the family

It is said that Husband is the head of the family, but remember that wife is the Neck of the family & the Neck can turn the Head exactly the way she wants.




To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire

Interviewer
 to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."


Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman.    

Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?"     
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"




Too late for garbage


Wife Running After A Garbage Truck:          
Am I Too Late For The Garbage?


Hubby Following Her Yelled: Not Yet.          
Jumpppp Innnn Fastttt.


What if you don't see me for 2 days?


A man came home late at night after a party.        

His wife yelled:        
"how would you feel if you don't see me for two days?"    
The man couldn’t believe his luck: 'that would be great'! 
Monday passed and he didn’t see her......
Tuesday and Wednesday passed too.....   
On Thursday his swelling became better  
And now he could see her from the corner of one eye.



Why women starts with W


You know why women starts with 'W'...      

because all questions start with "W".. !      
Who ?         
Why ?        
What ?      
When ?     
Which ?     
Whom ?    
Where ?    
&
Finally Wife..!!!

NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN

Nobody teaches Volcanoes to erupt, Tsunamis to devastate, Hurricanes to sway around & no one teaches How to choose a Wife,

 NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN.


Difference between Friend & Wife

Difference between Friend & Wife


U can Tell ur Friend "U r my Best Friend"    
But Do u have courage to tell to ur Wife "U r my Best Wife?"


Dream of receiving jewellery & cloths


Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream that u were sending me jewellery and clothes!
Husband: yeah, I saw your dad paying the bill!!!

 
Recently fired stock trader

A recently fired stock trader said ...
"This is worse than divorce...  I have lost everything           and I still have my wife..."