Sunday, December 27, 2009

HOW TO IDENTIFY DIFFERENT CITIES OF INDIA:

Scenario 1
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, sees them and walks on.
That's MUMBAI

------------------------------
----------
Scenario 2
Two guys are fighting. Both of them take time out and call their friends on
their mobiles. Now 50 guys are fighting.
You are definitely in PUNJAB!!!
------------------------------
----------
Scenario 3
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along and tries to make peace.
The first two get together and beat him up.
That's DELHI

----------------------------------------
Scenario 4
Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch.
A guy comes along and quietly opens a Chai-stall.
That's AHMEDABAD

------------------------------
----------
Scenario 5
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes.
He writes a software program to stop the fight.
But the fight doesn't stop because of a virus in the program.
That's BANGALORE
------------------------------
----------
Scenario 6
Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch.
A guy comes along and quietly says that "AMMA" doesn't like all this nonsense..
Peace settles in...
That's CHENNAI
------------------------------
----------
Scenario 7
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, then a fourth
and they start arguing about who's right.
You are in KOLKATA
------------------------------
----------
Scenario 8
Two guys are fighting. Third guy comes from nearby house and says,
"don't fight in front of my place, go sum where else and keep fighting".
That's KERALA!
------------------------------
----------
And the best one is ....
Scenario 9
Two guys are fighting. Third guy comes along with a carton of beer.
All sit together drinking beer and abusing each other and all go home as friends.
You are in GOA!!!______________

The Buffalo Theory of Beer:

"Well ya see, it's like this...

A herd of  buffalo can  only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the  herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest  ones at  the back that are killed first This natural selection  is good  for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole  group keeps improving by the regular  killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can  only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of  alcohol, as we know,  kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain  cells first.

In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the  weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.  That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."  

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

super 30

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

100 ways to be loved!


1. Remember to say "I love you" and "I need you" often.

2. Walk hand in hand in the rain.

3. Write a love poem.

4. Call a radio station and dedicate a favorite song.

5. Write "I Love You" in lipstick or shaving cream on the mirror.

6. Hide love notes in a lunch box, briefcase or purse.

7. Make heart-shaped cinnamon toast for breakfast.

8. Place a love note in the personals section of the newspaper.

9. Take a carriage ride around the city.

10. Plan a surprise getaway.

11. Do your mate's household chores.

12. Write notes on future dates in their date book ("I love you," I miss you," etc.)

13. Make reservations at a favorite restaurant.

14. Let them choose the movie.

15. Give a foot massage.

16. Make a heart-shaped bookmark, and place it in their book.

17. Pop in a romantic music CD and slow dance.

18. Throw a just-because surprise party for two.


19. Buy a stuffed animal for your honey.

20. Read each other's horoscopes.

21. Make a list of the top 10 things you love about your partner.

22. Display it in a prominent place.

23. Tattoo your mate's name on your body.

24. Make an album or scrapbook of your favorite memories together.

25. Go camping together and only take one sleeping bag.

26. Send a mushy message in a bottle...a balloon...a sandwich...

27. Cut out a silly cartoon that you know they'd enjoy.

28. Shower together.

29. Dim the lights, and snuggle together on the couch.

30. Be the first to say "I'm sorry" and kiss and make up.

31. Give each other a full-body massage.

32. Kiss every hour on the hour all day long.

33. Send a gift basket of indulgent items.

34. Write "I'm hot for you" in the steam on the bathroom mirror.

35. Ribbon wrap your bed with a big bow.

36. Fill up the gas tank of your partner's car.

37. Act like teenagers. Maybe even pierce something!

38. Show up with a bouquet of flowers -- for no reason at all.

39. Play Scrabble® together, using as many "love" words as you can.

40. Run a warm bubble bath for your partner, with lots of lit candles.

41. Meet in the park for a picnic.

42. Hold hands.

43. Leave a trail of rose petals through the house, leading to a romantic candlelight dinner.

44. Make a donation in your mate's name to a special cause or charity.

45. Pick up their clothes from the floor -- without saying a word about it.

46. Watch an old black and white romantic movie and share a bowl of popcorn.

47. Reenact your first date.

48. Surprise your partner with tickets to a special event.

49. An unexpected hug can brighten any day.

50. Buy a silly, impromptu gift.

51. Send an email just to say "I'm thinking of you."

52. Bring home a balloon bouquet.

53. Serve breakfast in bed.

54. Make an ornament with a picture of both of you for the Christmas tree.

55. Play tag.

56. Wash and wax your partner's car, and leave a little note on the dashboard.

57. Plant a garden together.

58. Leave a mushy message on voicemail.

59. Stay at a hotel for the night, just because.

60. Make angels in the snow.

61. Every time you say "hello" or "goodbye", seal it with a hug and a kiss.

62. Take a drive in the country.

63. Spend the evening looking at the stars -- and make a wish together.

64. Cast a playful wink any time, anywhere.

65. Think up a list of silly little pet names for times when you're alone together.

66. Read poetry to each other.

67. Celebrate your half-birthdays together.

68. Put a picture of both of you in your wallet.

69. Buy that favorite book or CD for no reason at all.

70. Send a care package to work filled with treats like food, photos, candy, a love note, heart-shaped confetti, etc.

71. Go out for the evening and tell people you're on your honeymoon.

72. Take a hike together and carve your initials in a tree.

73. Write a thank you note for all the things you take for granted.

74. Make a fire in the fireplace and roast marshmallows.

75. Tape your favorite TV show and spend the evening talking.

76. Do the dishes together, then apply hand lotion to each other's hands.

77. Write a love letter to your partner and cut it into jigsaw puzzle pieces.

78. Decide on secret signals and use them to communicate with each other in large groups of people.

79. Schedule a regular mid-week "date night" for just the two of you.

80. Do the laundry together.

81. Romance Theater Weekend: reenact each other's favorite love scene - hers on Friday, his on Saturday.

82. Call your partner at work and ask for a date.

83. Pretend you haven't seen each other for a month. Act accordingly.

84. Send a written invitation to do something special.

85. Take turns reading to each other.

86. Stand outside the window and sing a romantic song.

87. Hide favorite candy in your partner's coat pockets.

88. Put a tape recording of your voice (saying anything) in the car stereo and turn it on so it plays when the car starts.

89. Go to a drive-in movie.

90. Get up to turn off the last light after you're both comfy-cozy in bed.

91. Hold each other tight during a thunderstorm.

92. Make a tape recording of favorite love songs.

93. Leave a bunch of bananas on the kitchen table with a note, "I go bananas over you!"

94. Hide love notes in a magazine.

95. Declare your undying love via a telegram.

96. Make a romantic dinner together, and serve it on your finest china.

97. Surprise your partner with a big kiss on the neck.

98. Give unexpected compliments.

99. Share an ice cream cone.

100. Have a picnic on the living room floor.

Comforting Advice....Aweosme !!!!! must read







 





 





Friday, December 11, 2009

“Acid Terrorism” Against Women in Pakistan.





"Acid Terrorism" Against Women in Pakistan.

Think twice before you go into the post.
If you are weak heated please skip...




This is really horrible. Faces of these women were mutilated by acid, and this is the work of bastards who call themselves men. This is such a strange way of solving problems (or revenge) in Pakistan.
After the jump, you can look at these poor women and learn why the acid was thrown into their faces.



Join smilingsmilers for Innovative Mails

Irum Saeed, 30, poses for a photograph at her office at the Urdu University of Islamabad, Pakistan, Thursday, July 24, 2008. Irum was burned on her face, back and shoulders twelve years ago when a boy whom she rejected for marriage threw acid on her in the middle of the street. She has undergone plastic surgery 25 times to try to recover from her scars.


Join smilingsmilers for Innovative Mails



Shameem Akhter, 18, poses for a photograph at her home in Jhang, Pakistan, Wednesday, July 10, 2008. Shameem was raped by three boys who then threw acid on her three years ago. Shameem has undergone plastic surgery 10 times to try to recover from her scars.



Join smilingsmilers for Innovative Mails

Najaf Sultana, 16, poses for a photograph at her home in Lahore, Pakistan on Wednesday, July 9, 2008. At the age of five Najaf was burned by her father while she was sleeping, apparently because he didn't want to have another girl in the family. As a result of the burning Najaf became blind and after being abandoned by both her parents she now lives with relatives. She has undergone plastic surgery around 15 times to try to recover from her scars.


Join smilingsmilers for Innovative Mails


Shehnaz Usman, 36, poses for a photograph in Lahore, Pakistan, Sunday, Oct. 26, 2008. Shehnaz was burned with acid by a relative due to a familial dispute five years ago. Shehnaz has undergone plastic surgery 10 times to try to recover from her scars.


Join smilingsmilers for Innovative Mails


Shahnaz Bibi, 35, poses for a photograph in Lahore, Pakistan, Sunday, Oct. 26, 2008. Ten years ago Shahnaz was burned with acid by a relative due to a familial dispute. She has never undergone plastic surgery.

Join smilingsmilers for Innovative Mails


Kanwal Kayum, 26, adjusts her veil as she poses for a photograph in Lahore, Pakistan, Sunday, Oct. 26, 2008. Kanwal was burned with acid one year ago by a boy whom she rejected for marriage. She has never undergone plastic surgery.


Join smilingsmilers for Innovative Mails


Munira Asef, 23, poses for a photograph in Lahore, Pakistan, Sunday, Oct. 26, 2008. Munira was burned with acid five years ago by a boy whom she rejected for marriage. She has undergone plastic surgery 7 times to try to recover from her scars.



Bushra Shari, 39, adjusts her veil as she poses for a photograph in Lahore, Pakistan, Friday, July. 11, 2008. Bushra was burned with acid thrown by her husband five years ago because she was trying to divorce him. She has undergone plastic surgery 25 times to try to recover from her scars.

Join smilingsmilers for Innovative Mails

Memuna Khan, 21, poses for a photograph in Karachi, Pakistan, Friday, Dec. 19, 2008. Menuna was burned by a group of boys who threw acid on her to settle a dispute between their family and Menuna's. She has undergone plastic surgery 21 times to try to recover from her scars.

Join smilingsmilers  for Innovative Mails

Zainab Bibi, 17, adjusts her veil as she poses for a photograph in Islamabad, Pakistan, Wednesday, Dec. 24, 2008. Zainab was burned on her face with acid thrown by a boy whom she rejected for marriage five years ago. She has undergone plastic surgery several times to try to recover from her scars.

Join smilingsmilers for Innovative Mails

Naila Farhat, 19, poses for a photograph in Islamabad, Pakistan, Wednesday, Dec. 24, 2008. Naila was burned on her face with acid thrown by a boy whom she rejected for marriage five years ago. She has undergone plastic surgery several times to try to recover from her scars.


Join smilingsmilers for Innovative Mails


Saira Liaqat, 26, poses for the camera as she holds a portrait of herself before being burned, at her home in Lahore, Pakistan, Wednesday, July 9, 2008. When she was fifteen, Saira was married to a relative who would later attack her with acid after insistently demanding her to live with him, although the families had agreed she wouldn't join him until she finished school. Saira has undergone plastic surgery 9 times to try to recover from her scars.
 
 





--
I pray the Almighty to be bless me with the wisdom of old age & energy of youth. May my grudges, resentments, frustrations & jealousies disappear. May i get the strength to be significant & not successful. May my integrity, compassion & sacrifice encourage & empower others. May i live a Life that Matters.  


The INTERNET now has a personality. YOURS! See your Yahoo! Homepage.



Are you a beggar?









 
….. one remains a beggar. Our whole life proves it again and again -- every desire frustrates. And when the goal is achieved, you will need another desire. The day you understand that desire as such is going to fail comes the turning point in your life. …..

Are you a beggar ?
An emperor was coming out of his palace for his morning walk when he met a beggar. He asked the beggar, "What do you want?"The beggar laughed and said, "You are asking me as though you can fulfill my desire!"

The king was offended. He said, "Of course I can fulfill your desire. What is it? Just tell me."

And the beggar said, "Think twice before you promise anything."

The beggar was no ordinary beggar, he was the emperors past life master. He had promised in that life, "I will come and try to wake you in your next life. This life you have missed but I will come again." But the king had forgotten completely -- who remembers past lives? So he insisted, "I will fulfill anything you ask. I am a very powerful emperor, what can you possibly desire that I can not give to you?"

The beggar said, "It is a very simple desire. You see this begging bowl? Can you fill it with something?"

The emperor said, "Of course!" He called one of his viziers and told him, "Fill this mans begging bowl with money." The vizier went and got some money and poured it into the bowl, and it disappeared. And he poured more and more, and the moment he would pour it, it would disappear. And the beggging bowl remained always empty.

The whole palace gathered. By and by the rumor went throughout the whole capital, and a huge crowd gathered. The prestige of the emperor was at stake.

He said to his viziers, "If the whole kingdom is lost, I am ready to lose it, but I cannot be defeated by this beggar."

Diamonds and pearls and emeralds, his treasuries were becoming empty.The begging bowl seemed to be bottomless. Everything that was put into it --everything! --immediately disappeared, went out of existence. Finally it was the evening, and the people were standing there in utter silence. The king dropped at the feet of the beggar and admitted his defeat. he said, "Just tell me one thing. You are victorious - but before you leave, just fulfill my curiousity. What is the begging bowl made of?"

The beggar laughed and said, "It is made up of the human mind. There is no secret. It is simple made up of human desire."

This understanding transforms life. Go into one desire -- what is the mechanism of it? First there is a great excitement, great thrill, adventure. you feel a great kick. Something is going to happen, you are on the verge of it. And then you have the car, you have the yacht, you have the house, you have the woman, and suddenly all is meaningless again.

What happens? Your mind has dematerialized it. The car is standing in the drive, but there is no excitement anymore. The excitement was only in getting it. You became so drunk with the desire that you forgot your inner nothingness. Now the desire is fulfilled, the car in the drive, the woman in your bed, the money in your bank account - again excitement disappears. Again the emptiness is there, ready to eat you up. Again you have to create another desire to escape this yawning abyss.

That's how one moves from one desire to another desire. That's how one remains a beggar. Your whole life proves it again and again -- every desire frustrates. And when the goal is achieved, you will need another desire. The day you understand that desire as such is going to fail comes the turning point in your life. The other journey is inwards. move inwards, come back home.




The INTERNET now has a personality. YOURS! See your Yahoo! Homepage.




Bill Gate's Car and the Reception Office at Microsoft ...









look at Bill Gate's Car and the Reception Office at Microsoft ....


 

 




The INTERNET now has a personality. YOURS! See your Yahoo! Homepage.




Sunday, November 22, 2009

vacant berth status...

nice site for vacant berth status...

Saturday, November 21, 2009

How numerals 0 - 9 got their shape

Happy sunday to all friends...!
Read this first, then open the Attachment
  
How numerals 0 - 9 got their shape: Do you know why numbers look like they do? Someone, at some point in time, had to create their shapes and meaning.
 
Watch this short presentation and then you will know how our Arabic numbers were originally created a very long time ago and what logic the people that created them used to determine their shapes. It is really very simple and quite creative?
 
You have to admire the intelligence of a person/s that created something so simple and perfect that it has lasted for thousands and thousands of years and will probably never change.
 
When the presentation gets to the number "seven" you will notice that the 7 has a line through the middle of it. That was the way the Arabic 7 was originally written, and in Europe and certain other areas they still write the 7 that way.  Also, in the military, they commonly write it that way. The nine has a kind of curly tail on it that has been reduced,  for the most part nowadays, to a simple curve, but the logic involved still applies.
 
Click on the right arrow each time you want to advance the slide show.
 
 


Thursday, November 19, 2009

JACK DANIELS FISHING STORY


Read it….really nice JJ
 
I finally got around to going fishing this morning but after a while I ran out of worms.

Then I saw a cottonmouth snake with a frog in his mouth, and frogs are good bass bait.

Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth, I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog and put it in my bait bucket.

Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit.

I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth.

His eyes rolled back, he went limp, I released him into the lake without incident, And carried on my fishing with the frog.

A little later I felt a nudge on my foot.

There was that same snake with two frogs in his mouth.
 

Sunday, November 15, 2009

स्वार्थी कहूं या संत तुम्हें...


क्योंकि स्वार्थी हो गये थे तुम...
अपने में ईश्वर को भी नहीं पहचान पाये तुम !
तुम्हीं तो थे जो साथ लिए मुझे..
मंदिर में जाया करते
ईश्वर को सच्चे प्यार का विश्वास दिलाया करते
तब...तब मैं भाव विभोर हो देखा करती तुम्हें...
कितने लीन होकर तुम उस परम पिता को
साक्षी बना रहे थे अपने प्यार का !
और हाँ..... वह साक्षी बना भी
हर बार की तरह वह मुस्कराकर
आशीर्वाद देता भी।
तुम कितने निश्पाप मन से
ईश्वर से मुझको मांगा करते
तब उस वक्त मैं तुम्हारी आंखों में प्रेम की
निर्मल धारा बहते देखती और...
उतर जाती उस ईश्वर की प्यास में
चली जाती तुम्हारे साथ उस ईश्वर की आस में
ईश्वर को छलते तुम या मुझको छलते ?
मै तो ईश्वर को पा रही थी तुम्हारे साथ चलते !
बैखौफ़ सी उन पगडंडियों में चली जा रही थी मैं
जिनके सपने तुम दिखा रहे थे मुझे
सपनों की दुनिया में उड़ रही थी बिन पंख लगाये
द‍ृष्टा बनना था मुझे...बन गयी द‍ृष्टिहीन
छोड आये तुम मुझे उस अन्तहीन छोर पर
जहां से आगे न मंजिल थी न कोई डगर
अब...अब तो मैं हूं अकेली
पथराई पहेली सी..
लौट आई फ़िर वहीं...
जहां छला जाना ही औरत की नियति है
लेकिन जानती है.....फिर भी चलना जानती है
प्यार में ठोकर मिले तो क्या ?
प्यार में कुछ क्षण ईश्वर को तो पा ही लेती है !
तुम्हें नहीं आया ईश्वर को पाना तो क्या....
ये तुम्हारी बदनसीबी है
आज तुम मुझसे प्यार करने की गलती का प्रायश्चित कर रहे हो
और मैं...तप्त...शांत...गहरी झील सी..
औरत की तरह प्यार करके तो देखो....
ईश्वर को सच्चा मान कर तो देखो....
वह महसूस कराता है
अपने को तुम्हारे भीतर रहकर!
अब दर्द नहीं कोई गिला नहीं
न छले जाने का कोई दुख !
....फ़िर भी तुम्हारी शुक्रगुजार हूं मैं
क्योंकि किसी एक क्षण में जब मैं ईश्वर में थी...
उस तक पहुंचने का माध्यम तुम्हीं तो थे !
हां तुम्हीं...!
ऋणी रहूंगी तुम्हारी उस एक पल के लिए
जब ईश्वर का साक्षात्कार हुआ.....
और उस कान्हा से प्यार हुआ.......
सुना है संत ही ईश्वर के दर्शन कराते हैं....
उस तक पहुंचने का रास्ता बताते हैं...
तुम्हीं कहो उस तक पहुंचने के लिए
स्वार्थी कहूं या संत तुम्हें....?

कुछ पल जिन्दगी जैसे... विडम्बना


 

कुछ पल जिन्दगी जैसे , जिंदगी के ही दामन से चुरा लिए मैंने । उन्ही जीवंत पलों को शब्दों मे पिरो कर पेश कर रहा हूँ । ये महफ़िल है मेरे दिल की , यहाँ कुछ गीत मिलेंगे सुर छेड़ते हुए , कुछ गज़लें होंगी हाथों मे जाम लिए , कुछ कवितायेँ भी मिलेंगी गहरी आँखों वाली , कुछ किस्से कुछ किरदार , इनमे से कुछ भी अगर आपके दिल को छू पाये तो खुशकिस्मत समझूंगा अपने आप को ....

जिन्दगी

बहुत सालों पहले जिन्दगी को समझने की एक कोशिश में मिली थी ये ग़ज़ल ... पेश ए नज़र है यारों ।

दर्द की एक दास्ताँ है जिन्दगी,
मौत का ही तो आइना है जिन्दगी ।

सच की पथरीली जमी पर,
झूठ का एक आसमा है जिन्दगी ।

दोस्तो से अजनबी और,
दुश्मनों से आशना है जिन्दगी ।

वक़्त बहता पानी है और,
बूँद का एक बुलबुला है जिन्दगी ।

हर कदम अंधा सफ़र है,
हादसों का सिलसिला है जिन्दगी ।
 

विडम्बना

डरी सहमी ऑंखें,
चेहरे पर हताशा,
तन पर कपड़े नदारद,
घुटनों को छाती से चिपकाये,
बेडियों में जकड़ी काया,
शून्य को घूरती हुई,
कहीं कुछ ढूँढती है शायद,
निश्ब्द्ता में भी है कोलाहल,
ह्रदय में जारी है उम्र की कवायद,
मगज एक मरघट हो जैसे,
कुछ चिताएँ जल रहीं हैं,
कुछ लाशें सडी हुई सीं,
पडी हुईं हैं, जिन पर,
भिनभिनाती है मक्खियाँ,
जैसे - कुछ अनसुलझी गुत्थियाँ,
कुछ अनुत्तरित सवालों का समूह्गान जैसे,
कैसी विडम्बना है ये,
आखिर हम मुक्त क्यों नही हो पाते...???

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Jane n Tarzan


> When Jane initially met Tarzan in the jungle, she was
> attracted to him,
>
> And during her questions about his life , she asked him how
> he had sex?
>
>

>
>
> 'Tarzan not know sex' he replied.
>
>
> Jane explained to him what sex was.
>
>

>
>
> Tarzan said 'Oh,....Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of
> tree.'
>
>

>
>
> Horrified Jane said, ' Tarzan you have it all wrong,
> but I will show you how to do it properly.'
>
>

>
>
> She took off her clothing and laid down on the ground.
>
>
> 'Here' she said,pointing to her privates, 'you
> must put it in here.'
>
>

>
>
> Tarzan removed his loin cloth, showing Jane his
> considerable manhood,stepped closer to her and kicked her in
> the crotch !
>
>

>
>
> Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an
> eternity.
>
>

>
>
> Eventually she managed to grasp for air and screamed '
> What did you do that for ?'
>
>

> Tarzan replied, 'Check for squirrel.'





--
"A University Professor set an examination question wherein he asked what is the difference between ignorance & apathy. He had to give an A+ to the student who answered: I dont know & I dont care." - Richard Pratt

धूप ही क्यों धूप ही क्यों छांव भी दो

धूप ही क्यों धूप ही क्यों छांव भी दो
पंथ ही क्यों पांव भी दो
सफर लम्बी हो गई अब, ठहरने को गांव भी दो ।

प्यास ही क्यों नीर भी
दो धार ही क्यों तीर भी दो
जी रही पुरुषार्थ कब से, अब मुझे तकदीर भी दो ।

पीर ही क्यों प्रीत भी दो
हार ही क्यों जीत भी दो
शुन्य में खोए बहुत अब, चेतना को गीत भी दो ।

ग्रन्थ ही क्यों ज्ञान भी दो
ज्ञान ही क्यों ध्यान भी दो

तुम हमारी अस्मिता को,
अब निजी पहचान भी दो ।




तुम हमारी अस्मिता को, अब निजी पहचान भी दो ।

Friday, November 13, 2009

GM.....+ tve talk

Robert De Vincenzo, the great Argentine golfer, once won a tournament
and, after receiving the check and
smiling for the cameras, he went to the clubhouse and prepared to
leave. Some time later, he walked alone to
his car in the parking lot and was approached by a young woman.

She congratulated him on his victory and then told him that her child
was seriously ill and near death.
She did not know how she could pay the doctor's bills and hospital expenses.

De Vincenzo was touched by her story, and he took out a pen and
endorsed his winning check for payment to
the woman. "Make some good days for the baby," he said as he pressed
the check into her hand.

The next week he was having lunch in a country club when a
Professional Golf Association official came to
his table. "Some of the boys in the parking lot last week told me you
met a young woman there after you won
that tournament." De Vincenzo nodded.

"Well," said the official, "I have news for you. She's a phony. She
has no sick baby. She's not even married. She fleeced you, my
friend."

"You mean there is no baby who is dying?" said De Vincenzo.

"That's right," said the official.

"That's the best good news I've heard all week." De Vincenzo said.

Harivansh Rai Bachchan

Harivanshrai "Bachchan" Srivastava (November 27, 1907 – January 18,
2003) was a distinguished Hindi poet, perhaps best known for his early
work Madhushala . He is also the father of Bollywood film superstar,
Amitabh Bachchan.

Life
He was born as Harivanshrai Srivastava into a Kayasth family on
November 27, 1907 at a small town (of Patti, in district of
Pratapgarh,U.P.) near Allahabad in the United Provinces (modern Uttar
Pradesh). He was called "bachchan" (meaning 'child') at home. He
received his formal schooling in a municipal school and followed the
family tradition of attending Kayasth Paathshaalas (?????? ???????) to
learn Urdu as the first step to a career in law. He later studied at
the Allahabad University and Banaras Hindu University. In this period,
he came under the influence of the independence movement, then under
the leadership of Mahatma Gandhi.

In 1926, at the age of 19, Bachchan married his first wife, Shyama,
who was then 14 years old. However she died ten years later in 1936
after a long spell of TB at just 24 years of age. Shortly after his
first wife's death, Bachchan married Teji Suri, a Sikh, in 1941. The
marriage produced two sons, Amitabh and Ajitabh.

From 1941 to 1952 he taught English at the Allahabad University and
then spent two years at Cambridge University in St Catharine's
College, Cambridge. There he studied with the famous English
literature don, Thomas Rice Henn, and received a doctorate in English
Literature for his work on the Irish poet W.B. Yeats. It was then,
that he used 'Bachchan' as his last name instead of Srivastav.
Bachchan was the second Indian to get his doctorate in English
literature from Cambridge University.

Returning to India, he taught briefly and then worked as a producer
for All India Radio, Allahabad. In 1955, Harivanshrai moved to Delhi
to join the Ministry of External Affairs of the Government of India
and there he was closely involved with the evolution of Hindi as the
official language of the nation.

Bachchan used to introduce himself as Mitti ka tan, masti ka man,
kshan-bhar jivan ? mera parichay. (?????? ?? ??, ????? ?? ??, ???? ??
????, ???? ?????) (A body of clay, a mind full of play, a moment?s
life – that is me).

Harivanshrai Bachchan died on January 18, 2003, at the age of 95, as a
result of various respiratory ailments.
Work
He is best known for his early lyric poem Madhushala (The House of
Wine), which has been translated into English and many regional Indian
languages including Bengali, Marathi and Malayalam. It forms part of a
trilogy, along with Madhubala (???????) and Madhukalash (??????).
Bachchan published about 30 volumes of poetry. He translated
Shakespeare's Macbeth and Othello, Omar Khayyam's Rubaiyat, the
Bhagavad Gita (???? ????) and W.B. Yeats into Hindi. His works include
Nisha Nimantran (???? ????????), Khadi Ke Phool (???? ?? ???), Ekant
Sangeet (????? ?????) and Satrangini (????????). In November, 1984, he
wrote his last poem Ek November 1984 on Indira Gandhi?s assassination.
His autobiography, consisting of four volumes namely Kya bhooloon kya
yaad karoon (???? ????? ???? ??? ????), Need ka nirmaan fir (???? ??
??????? ???), Basere se door (????? ?? ???) and Dashdwaar se sopaan
tak (??????? ?? ????? ??) (abridged and translated into English as In
the Afternoon of Time) was chosen for the Saraswati Samman.
Honors
Bachchan was nominated to the Rajya Sabha, the Upper House of the
Indian Parliament in 1966, and received the Sahitya Akademi award
three years later. In 1976, he was honoured with the Padma Bhushan and
the Saraswati Samman for his contribution to Hindi literature. He is a
recipient of the Soviet Land Nehru Award and the Lotus Award of the
Afro-Asian writers conference. In 2003, an Indian postage stamp was
released in his memory.
Trivia
At present, more people may know Bachchan as being father to India's
best-known film actor, Amitabh Bachchan, than know his reputation as a
poet.
The creator of the great collection 'Madhushala ' is often thought to
be a great admirer of wonder solutions himself. It is wrongly believed
that the creator of one of the most famous poems on wine (Madhushala)
never drank liquor. In reality, he had never drank liquor till the
time he completed Madhushala. He did drink, although sparingly, later
in his life, a fact that he admits to in his autobiography.
One of his inspirational poems, "agneepath" was used as the title and
the theme for the 1991 blockbuster movie Agneepath (translates: path
of fire) featuring his superstar son Amitabh Bachchan as a ruthless
mafia don. This movie was a massive success earning Amitabh Bachchan a
National Award for his performance. You can see Amitabh narrating the
poem through out the movie.
The poem describes the entire gamut of sufferings that the human race
had gone through and is going through.

Here is the actual poem :

Vriksh ho bhale ghane, ho ghane ho bade, Ek pat chhav ki mang mat,
mang mat, Agneepath Agneepath Agneepath.

Tu na thakega kabhi, tu na thamega kabhi, tu na mudega kabhi, Kar
shapath, kar shapath, kar shapath, Agneepath, Agneepath, Agneepath.

Ye mahaan drishya hai, chal raha manushya hai, Ashru swed raqt se
lathpath, lathpath, lathpath, Agneepath, Agneepath, Agneepath.
Bollywood star Abhishek Bachchan, grandson of Harivansh Rai Bachchan,
was married to Aishwarya Rai April 20th, 2007. One of Harivansh Rai
Bachchan poems regarding new beginnings was enclosed in the wedding
invitations.

Monday, November 9, 2009

17 Principles of Personal Achievement by Napoleon Hill

For most of his life, Napoleon Hill lived with the conviction that every failure carried with it the seed of equivalent advantage. Here are his 17 principles for extraordinary achievement.

Lesson 1: Definiteness of Purpose
Definiteness of purpose is the starting point of all achievement. Without a purpose and a plan, people drift aimlessly through life.

Lesson 2: Mastermind Alliance
The Mastermind principle consists of an alliance of two or more minds working in perfect harmony for the attainment of a common definite objective. Success does not come without the cooperation of others.

Lesson 3: Applied Faith
Faith is a state of mind through which your aims, desires, plans and purposes may be translated into their physical or financial equivalent.

Lesson 4: Going the Extra Mile
Going the extra mile is the action of rendering more and better service than that for which you are presently paid. When you go the extra mile, the Law of Compensation comes into play.

Lesson 5: Pleasing Personality
Personality is the sum total of one's mental, spiritual and physical traits and habits that distinguish one from all others. It is the factor that determines whether one is liked or disliked by others.

Lesson 6: Personal Initiative
Personal initiative is the power that inspires the completion of that which one begins. It is the power that starts all action. No person is free until he learns to do his own thinking and gains the courage to act on his own.

Lesson 7: Positive Mental Attitude
Positive mental attitude is the right mental attitude in all circumstances. Success attracts more success while failure attracts more failure.

Lesson 8: Enthusiasm
Enthusiasm is faith in action. It is the intense emotion known as burning desire. It comes from within, although it radiates outwardly in the expression of one's voice and countenance.

Lesson 9: Self-Discipline
Self-discipline begins with the mastery of thought. If you do not control your thoughts, you cannot control your needs. Self-discipline calls for a balancing of the emotions of your heart with the reasoning faculty of your head.

Lesson 10: Accurate Thinking
The power of thought is the most dangerous or the most beneficial power available to man, depending on how it is used.

Lesson 11: Controlled Attention
Controlled attention leads to mastery in any type of human endeavor, because it enables one to focus the powers of his mind upon the attainment of a definite objective and to keep it so directed at will.

Lesson 12: Teamwork
Teamwork is harmonious cooperation that is willing, voluntary and free. Whenever the spirit of teamwork is the dominating influence in business or industry, success is inevitable. Harmonious cooperation is a priceless asset that you can acquire in proportion to your giving.

Lesson 13: Adversity & Defeat
Individual success usually is in exact proportion of the scope of the defeat the individual has experienced and mastered. Many so-called failures represent only a temporary defeat that may prove to be a blessing in disguise.

Lesson 14: Creative Vision
Creative vision is developed by the free and fearless use of one's imagination. It is not a miraculous quality with which one is gifted or is not gifted at birth.

Lesson 15: Health
Sound health begins with a sound health consciousness, just as financial success begins with a prosperity consciousness.

Lesson 16: Budgeting Time & Money
Time and money are precious resources, and few people striving for success ever believe they possess either one in excess.

Lesson 17: Habits
Developing and establishing positive habits leads to peace of mind, health and financial security. You are where you are because of your established habits and thoughts and deeds.

—Napoleon Hill


"Sachin" - Quotes...

Few quotes on the great man SACHIN-- Don't miss the last two
 
 
·         "Destined to be a great" -  Barry Richards.
 
 
·         "He is 99.5 percent perfect. I'd pay to see him" - Viv Richards.
 
 
·         "Don't bowl him bad balls, he hits the good ones for fours" – Michael Kasprowicz.
 
 
·         "It's scary, where the hell do we bowl to him" -Allan Border.
 
 
·         "There is no shame being beaten by such a great player. We didn't lose to Team India. We Lost to Sachin Tendulkar" -Steve Waugh.
 
 
·         "If I've to bowl to Sachin, I'll bowl with my helmet on. He hits the ball so hard" - Dennis Lillee.
 
 
·         "I'd like to see him go out and bat one day with a stump. I tell you he'd do okay" -Greg Chappell.
 
 
·         "Cricketers like Sachin come once in a lifetime and I am privileged he played in my time" - Wasim Akram.
 
 
·         "The pressure on me is nothing as compared to Sachin Tendulkar. Sachin, like God, must never fail. The crowd always expects him to succeed and it is too much pressure on him" -Mark Waugh.
 
 
·         "Everybody gets 15 minutes of fame. But if there's one person I've admired over a 15-year of period, it's definitely Sachin." - Brain Lara
 
 
·         "I'll be going to bed having nightmares of Sachin just running down the wicket and belting me back over the head for six. He was unstoppable. I don't think anyone, apart from Don Bradman, is in the same class as Sachin Tendulkar. He is just an amazing player" -Shane Warne.
 
 
·         "I saw him playing on television and was struck by his technique, so I asked my wife to come look at him. Now I never saw myself play, but I feel that this player is playing much the same as I used to play, and she looked at him on Television and said yes, there is a similarity between the two... his compactness, technique, stroke production... it all seemed to gel" –Sir Donald Bradman.
 
 
·         "In an over I can bowl six different balls. But then Sachin looks at me with a sort of gentle arrogance down the pitch as if to say 'Can you bowl me another one?'" - Adam Hollioke
 
 
·         "You might pitch a ball on the off stump and think you have bowled a good ball and he walks across and hits it for two behind midwicket. His bat looks so heavy but he just waves it around like it's a toothpick? "-Brett Lee
 
 
·         "You have to decide for yourself whether you're bowling well or not. He's going to hit you for fours and sixes anyway?" -Micheal Kasprowicz
 
 
·         "Technically, you can't fault Sachin. Seam or spin, fast or slow ? Nothing is a problem?" -Geoffrey Boycott.
 
 
·         "His life seems to be stillness in a frantic world... [When he goes out to bat], it is beyond chaos - it is a frantic appeal by a nation to one man. The people see him as a God... ?" Mathew Hayden, on Sachin Tendulkar.
 
 
·         "The fact of the matter is that India still needs Sachin in a big way. All this talk of the youngsters taking over is very foolish. The reason why Tendulkar is so important for the team is because of his ability to inspire others and make them perform under pressure" - Some day on "Times of India".
 
 
And, this is the best!!! (A True fan of Sachin carried this Banner in amatch)
 
 
·         "Commit all your crimes when Sachin is batting. They will go unnoticed because even the Lord is busy watching him batting!!!."
 
Last but not he least. Probably the best of all.
 
·         "When I die I hope to see God. Today I will Settle for Tendulkar".





--
"A contest was organised in schools & the theme was; "THE BEST THING MY MOM EVER DID FOR ME".
The Award winning entry said; "THE BEST THING MY MOM EVER DID FOR ME WAS THAT SHE MARRIED MY DAD".


Tuesday, November 3, 2009

A ship sank....

  A ship sank in high seas and the following people got stranded on
   a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere:

   A. 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
   B. 2 French men and 1 French woman
   C. 2 German men and 1 German woman
   D. 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
   E. 2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman
   F. 2 Mexican men and 1 Mexican woman
   G. 2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman
   H. 2 American men and 1 American woman
   I. 2 Indian men and 1 Indian woman

   One month later, on various parts of the island, the
   following was observed:

   A. One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the
   Italian
   woman.

   B. The two French men and the French woman are living
   happily together.

   C. The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when
   they alternate with the German woman.

   D. The two Greek men are sleeping together, and the Greek
   woman is cooking & cleaning for them.

   E. The two Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean
   and a long look at the Polish woman, and they started swimming.

   F. The two Mexican men are talking to all the other men on
   the island trying to sell them the Mexican woman.

   G. The two Irish men began by dividing up their part of the
   island into Northern & Southern parts, and by setting up a> distillery. They do
   not remember the Irish woman because it gets sort of foggy after the
   first few liters of coconut whiskey; but at least the English are not
   getting any.

   H. The two American men are contemplating suicide. The
   American woman is bitching about her body being her own, the true
   nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, about
   the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of the
   household chores,how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated
   her much better, and how her relationship with her mother is improving.

   I. The 2 Indian men are still waiting for someone to introduce them to
   the Indian woman.



How bad is ur anger?

HOW BAD IS YOUR ANGER: ACCORDING TO YOUR STAR SIGN :

 
ARIES March 21 April 20:

 Nothing seems to ruffle you more than a lack of discipline, disloyalty

and decorum. But Arians are also known to go into a rage very easily when
challenged.Those of you who have been on the receiving end of the Aries temper know that if not calmed

down they can even get violent. But one thing is certain if the opponent remains
calm and does not react to their outburst, Arians cool down very fast. They are also the first to apologize, which makes them easier to
forgive.

 
TAURUS April 21 May 20:

You are generally quiet and have control over your emotions. It is difficult to predict what will upset you, so when you do lose your
cool, people don't know how to react. Your temper is like that of a raging bull, and anyone trying to pacify you will be the first one to get a verbal
bashing. You generally get upset when you are cornered or when people accuse you of doing something wrong. You also hate
being reminded about mistakes you've made in the past. You also have the potential to be
terribly vindictive if rubbed the wrong way.

 
GEMINI May 21 June 20:

 You are recognized by your cheerful disposition and your jovial nature is not easily susceptible to anger. In fact, you are the best person
to have around when there is an ugly scene at a party you can bring the warring factions together quite diplomatically. But when you
lose your cool, you yell and scream and will not listen to reason. You must have the
last word in a wordy duel. Your capacity to argue aggressively is matched only
by your seductive charm.

CANCER June 21 July 21:
 Considering how charming, caring, and kind you are,you dislike unpleasant scenes, much less creating one
yourself. You have great tolerance and rarely get provoked into losing your temper. If someone is unreasonable
or trying to create trouble, you are more likely to walk away quietly. But that does not mean you do not have a temper. When angry, in your
effort to control your emotions, you tremble, your hands get sweaty, and sometimes you fumble for words. Tears roll down your eyes easily and the
opponent is touched by your innocence and will seek an apology immediately.

 
LEO July 22 August 21:

 If anyone has total control over their emotions, it is you. But then, you can be described as stiff, cold and uncaring. You are known to
lack spontaneity but you really don't care about opinions.You don't like to create scenes and will never accept invitations to a

party where you suspect the presence of an unruly lot. But your very presence seems challenging to some and they take vicarious pleasure in your disquiet.
When angry you can use very critical language. A dressingdown can humiliate your opponent, causing a strain between both of you forever

 
VIRGO August 22 September 21:

 Most of you are gentle and have full control over your emotions, but those of you given to temper tantrums can certainly get violent. When see
thing with rage, you yell and shout and tend to break things lying close at hand. You can even harm yourself by banging your hands on a glass top
table or wall. You should never get into any argument, for you are a sore loser.You feel that others are trying to persecute you and don't quite respect
your opinions. When hurt, you can also hold grudges forever. 

 LIBRA September 22 October 22:
Did someone say that you are the charmers of the zodiac? Well, it's true. Few have ever seen you ruffled or angry. You are very conscious of
your image, and you believe that anger distorts your face and personality. You also think you are above things like anger. But wait before you
get into self-congratulatory mood. Your family or those very close to you know u  better. You have an unmatched temper amongst all the zodiac signs, and
what makes it worse is your capacity to justify it.
 
SCORPIO October 23 November 21:

 Of course you don't lose your cool. But your very demeanor (manner) projects haughtiness (arrogance, pride), pride and grand disdain
(disregard) for lesser mortals(humans). Others are often found saying that anger sits on your nose, and you are raring to give your peace of
mind to the first person who tries to act funny with you. You are selective in the choice of your friends, and have a low tolerance for the
superfluous (extra) types. Your tongue-lashing (attack) is generally in a soft hissing tone, for when you scream your voice tends to get shrill and loud, and
you do hate drawing attention to yourself! When upset, you are angrier with yourself for having shown weakness, for the last thing that Scorpio
wants to show is being out of control.

 
SAGITTARIUS November-22 - December-20:

You are insensible and generally have complete no control over your emotions. You do get angry quickly and others marvel at your anger
levels even when provoked. Actually, you get tongue tied when angry and you will remove your anger waiting for the other person to calm down. Then
you will reason with your opponent and convince the other person in a very gentle manner that the whole thing was just his mistake. You're also
likely to totally sever ties with someone when you're upset with them. 


 CAPRICORN December 21 January 19:


 Few will believe that a hardcore practical and materialistic person like you is capable of sensitivity and genuine emotions.
You project a hard exterior but are actually very sensitive, a trait you successfully hide from others. You can be seething with anger but
will not betray your feelings. But then there are times that even you cannot control your temper. Under such circumstances you can shout and

scream, more with frustration at the situation than with anger at any particular person.
Your outbursts can shock others and can make them feel guilty too.
 


 AQUARIUS January 20 February 18:


You are noble and kind and dislike losing control over your emotions. It is very rare for you to get angry. You are also the pacifier in
situations that involve arguments. It is always your endeavour to be perfect and socially correct in your behaviour and attitude, but if misunderstood

and slighted you can give in to an angry outburst. You will shout and scream and then walk out from the scene. You cannot easily forget the
situation and will be bitter about it for a long time.
 

 PISCES February 19 March 20:
 The only thing that can be said about you dreamers is that you appear even more attractive when angry. You are very sensitive to others'
feelings, so you rarely hurt them. But when others tend to hurt you, then things take a nasty turn. You will yell and use harsh
words, and feel inclined to shake everything and everyone up. Your creative imagery is at its best when

angry, and you tend to get pretty dramatic. When upset, you refuse to listen to reason and wish to be left alone. But once you calm down,
you repent your tantrums and seek forgiveness. So nobody can be upset with you for too long.


Russian Balance Bar performance Amazing

RUSSIAN BALANCE BAR PERFORMANCE

 

Go to this site below: 
 
http://amazingacts. blogspot. com/2008/ 07/dont-try- this-at-home. html 


 
You have to see this to believe it!
This is absolutely amazing to watch...a performance on the Russian Bar,
recorded for Chinese television at the Circus Festival of Monte Carlo .
The final stunt is unbelievable! 


Are You Colorblind??



Please test yourself for colour blindness, it's important to know whether you are Colorblind or not..... !
  
 


  
Click the link below and take the test:
 

Socialism-Simple Analogy

An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before 
but had once failed an entire class.
 
That class had insisted that socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.
 
The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on socialism. All grades would be averaged and everyone would receive the same grade so no one would fail and no one would receive an A. 
After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. 
 
The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy.  
 
As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little.  
 
The second test average was a D! No one was happy. 
 
When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.


The scores never increased,  as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.  
 
All failed, to their great surprise, and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great but when government takes the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.


                 Could not be any simpler than that.

 

This profound short little paragraph that says it all 

 
"You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for,that my dear friend, is about the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."

~~~~ Dr. Adrian Rogers, 1931




7%


This is something we should all  read at least once a week!!!!! Make sure you read to the  end!!!!!!

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer,   Cleveland , Ohio

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45  lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested 
column I've ever written. 

My odometer rolled over to 90  in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but  it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small  step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your  job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will.  Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You  don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with  someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry  with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your  first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is  futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the  present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't  compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all  about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in  it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry;  God never blinks.

16.. Take a deep breath. It calms the  mind..

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or  joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you  stronger.

19.. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the  second one is up to you and no one else

20. When it comes to going  after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the  candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a  special 
occasion. Today is  special. 

22. Over  prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for  old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the  brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26.  Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this  matter?'

27. Always choose life. 

28. Forgive everyone  everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your  business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31.  However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take  yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in  miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of  anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make  the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying  young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that  truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day.  Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a  pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste  of time. You already have all you need.

42.. The best is yet to  come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show  up.

44. Yield. 

45. Life isn't tied with a  bow, but it's still a gift." 
                          

Its estimated 93% won't  forward this. If you are one of the 7% who will, forward this with the title '7%'. 

I'm in the 7%. 

 Friends are  the family that we choose for ourselves 
                          

Management lessons

Thanks rajesh...

 

Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel, "
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
Moral of the story
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time,you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
*********
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129 It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
Moral of the story
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
*********
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the
Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."
Puff!  She's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life."
Puff! He's gone.
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story
Always let your boss have the first say.
*********

Lesson 4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure , why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
*********
Lesson 5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey,"but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story
BullShit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
*********
Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the Winter.It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of this story
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
Lesson 7:
Once 2 frogs came out of their well for the first time in hope of seeing the world and having some adventure. They jumped on and on and reached a nearby village and accidently fell into a bucket of milk. The first frog got scared to be in this new type of liquid, stopped jumping and so drowned and died in the milk. The second frog did not give up, and kept on jumping. After some time the milk canged to curds, and the frog was able to jump out of the milk bucket and thus survived.
Moral:– Keep trying even if you see others falling weak.
Lesson 8:
Due to summer the water from a well was almost dried off. There were many frog's in it, out of which some died and some survived. The ones who survived always tried to jump and get out of the well so that they can relocate themselves somewhere else. But all of them eventually stopped trying and died soon.
Finally only one frog was left who was continuously putting in hard efforts to come out of the well. The other frogs from their community who were outside the well shouted at him saying that "don't try to jump and come out or else even you will die like the others." But this frog never left trying.
The ones outside yelled at him, shouted against him, but this frog never left trying and finally managed to come out. All the other frog were amazed and tried to ask him about how he managed to come out. But again he never replied to them.
Finally at an instance it was discovered that the frog was Deaf and could not here. That' was the key to his success. He never heard the people yelling at him and advising him not to jump and stop trying.
All this time he always felt that all of them cheered him to boost his spirit and he kept on trying and finally managed to come out. And rest of the frog who actually heard the others stopped trying and died off.
Moral: Not every one would be motivating you or cheering you. Its up to you, "Whom to hear and whom to not."