Saturday, October 31, 2009

AXE effect........!!!

Unable to attract even a single girl, frustrated man sues Axe

New Delhi. In what could prove to be a major marketing and legal embarrassment for Hindustan Unilever Limited (HUL), a 26-year-old man has filed a case against the FMCG company, which owns the Axe brand of men grooming products, for 'cheating' and causing him 'mental suffering'. The plaintiff has cited his failure to attract any girl at all even though he's been using Axe products for over seven years now. Axe advertisements suggest that the products help men in instantly attracting women.

Vaibhav Bedi, the petitioner, also surrendered all his used, unused and half-used deodorant sprays, perfume sticks and roll-ons, anti-perspirants, aftershaves, body washes, shampoos, and hair gels to the court, and demanded a laboratory test of the products and narcotics test of the brand managers of Axe. Vaibhav was pushed to take this step when his bai (maid) beat him with a broom when he tried to impress her by appearing in front of her after applying all the Axe products. cid:image010.gif@01CA2192.E9691400
No girl ever asked Vaibhav to call her

No girl ever asked Vaibhav to call her

"Where the **** is the Axe effect? I've been waiting for it for over seven years. Right from my college to now in my office, no girl ever agreed to even go out for a tea or coffee with me, even though I'm sure they could smell my perfumes, deodorants and aftershaves. I always applied them in abundance to make sure the girls get turned on as they show in the television. Finally I thought I'd try to impress my lonely bai who had an ugly fight with her husband and was living alone for over a year. Axe effect my foot!" Vaibhav expressed his unhappiness.

Vaibhav claims that he had been using all the Axe products as per the company's instructions even since he first bought them. He argued that if he couldn't experience the Axe effect despite using the products as directed, either the company was making false claims or selling fake products.

"I had always stored them in cool and dry place, and kept them away from direct light or heat. I'd always use a ruler before applying the spray and make sure that the distance between the nozzle and my armpit was at least 15 centimeters. I'd do everything they told. I even beat up my 5-year-old nephew for coming near my closet, as they had instructed it to keep away from children's reach. And yet, all I get is a broom beating from my ugly bai." Vaibhav expressed his frustration.

Vaibhav claims that he had to do go a lot of mental suffering and public humiliation due to the lack of Axe effect and wants HUL to compensate him for this agony. An advocate in Karkardooma court, who happened to mistake Vaibhav for some deodorant vendor when he entered the court premises with all the bottles, has now offered to take up his case in the court. HUL has been served a legal notice in this regard.

HUL has officially declined to comment on the case citing the subject to be sub judice, but our sources inform that the company was worried over the possible outcomes of the case. The company might argue that Vaibhav was hopelessly unattractive and unintelligent and didn't possess the bare minimum requirements for the Axe effect to take place. Officially HUL has not issued any statement, but legal experts believe that HUL could have tough time convincing the court.

"HUL might be tempted to take that line of argument, but it is very risky. There is no data to substantiate the supposition that unattractive and unintelligent men don't attract women. In fact some of the best looking women have been known to marry and date absolutely ghoulish guys. I'd suggest that the company settles this issue out of court." noted lawyer Ram Jhoothmalani said.


"Life is a comedy for those who think... and a tragedy for those who feel." - Horace Walpole

Monday, October 26, 2009

Engineers Vs Doctors...Have Fun


7 Engineers and 7 Doctors are going from PUNE to Mumbai. 
 So both groups gather at Pune Station.

Both groups are desperately trying to prove their superiority. 

------------------------------------------------- - 

7 engineers take only 1 Ticket and 7 doctors buy all 7 tickets... 

Doctors are desperately waiting for TC to come...... 

When TC arrives,

All 7 Engineers get in one toilet so when TC knocks, one hand come out with the ticket and the TC goes away....

NOW on return Journey All of them don't get a direct Train to PUNE. So they  all decide to take a Passenger till Lonavala, from there they can easily get a LOCAL to PUNE 

---------------------------------- ------------------------------ 

Doctors decided, "this time we will prove that we too are equal".....All 7 Doctors take 1 Ticket,  Engineers don't buy any ticket at all  !!!!!.. 

 TC arrives....

One engineer gets out and knocks the door of Doctors toilet, One hand comes with the ticket, he takes the ticket and comes in Eng. Bathroom...!

TC DRIVES out ALL the doctors from the toilet and they are heavily fined.. 



So now both the group are on LONAVALA station. Doctors planning their move for last chance, they board the local to Pune.

This time doctors decide that they will play the same (1 ticket) trick. 

ALL Doctors take 1 ticket... 

Engineers BUY all 7 tickets this time...

SO TC Comes.... All Engineers showed their tickets .................... ......

Doctors are still searching for toilet in the LOCAL train............!!

Conclusion: Technically intelligent people are geniuses, don't mess with Engineers.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Barbie getting r others!

BARBIE DOLL has her 50th birthday this year.......

Tweety Bird is 60 years old!

And what about all our other ....




Wonder Woman (touch of menopause here I think?)

Batman and Robin


"Life is short, break the rules, forgive sooner, love with true love, laugh without control and always keep smiling.
Maybe life is not the party that we were expecting, but in the mean time, we're here and we can still dance....."

An ode of English Plurals

An ode of English Plurals

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England.
We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,
grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and
get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
in which your house can burn up as it burns down,
in which you fill in a form by filling it out,  and
in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop?

"Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air.
You name them - work, family, health, friends and spirit and you're keeping all of these in the Air.
You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four Balls - Family, Health, Friends and Spirit - are made of glass. If you drop one of these; they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same.You must understand that and strive for it."-Bryan Dyson, CEO, Coka Cola

Noah's Ark

This  is really nice...

Noah's  Ark  Everything I need  to know, I learned from  Noah's Ark.


ONE: Don't miss  the boat.

TWO: Remember that we are all in the  same boat!

THREE: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining  when Noah built the Ark.

FOUR: Stay  fit. When you're 60 years old, someone may ask you to do  something really big.


FIVE: Don't  listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to  be done.

SIX: Build your future on high  ground.

SEVEN: For safety's sake, travel in  pairs always in life.

EIGHT: Speed isn't always an advantage.  The snails were on board with the cheetahs.

NINE:  When you're stressed, float awhile..

TEN:  Remember, the Ark was built by  amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.

ELEVEN:  No matter the storm, when you are with God,  there's always a rainbow  waiting.


Most  people walk in and out of your life......but FRIENDS leave footprints in your  heart.



"Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air.
You name them - work, family, health, friends and spirit and you're keeping all of these in the Air.
You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four Balls - Family, Health, Friends and Spirit - are made of glass. If you drop one of these; they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same.You must understand that and strive for it."-Bryan Dyson, CEO, Coka Cola

Monday, October 19, 2009

I Wanna Live long...Very Long...!!!


"Wishing you a happy Happy Festival of lights ~ Soft as silk ~ White as milk ~ Sweet as honey ~ Full of money" ~ Swami Harryanand

Sunday, October 18, 2009


A young man learns what's most important in life from the guy next door.

It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to spend with his wife and son. He was working on his future, and nothing could stop him.

Over the phone, his mother told him, "Mr. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday." Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.

"Jack, did you hear me?"

"Oh, sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It's been so long since I thought of him. I'm sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago," Jack said.

"Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him he'd ask how you were doing. He'd reminisce about the many days you spent over 'his side of the fence' as he put it," Mom told him.

"I loved that old house he lived in," Jack said.

"You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man's influence in your life," she said

"He's the one who taught me carpentry," he said. "I wouldn't be in this business if it weren't for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important...Mom, I'll be there for the funeral," Jack said.

As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser's funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.

The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time.

Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture....Jack stopped suddenly.

"What's wrong, Jack?" his Mom asked.

"The box is gone," he said

"What box?" Mom asked.

"There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he'd ever tell me was 'the thing I value most,'" Jack said.

It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it.

"Now I'll never know what was so valuable to him," Jack said. "I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom."

It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. "Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days," the note read.

Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention. "Mr. Harold Belser" it read. Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack's hands shook as he read the note inside.

"Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It's the thing I valued most in my life." A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes, Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch.

Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover. Inside he found these words engraved:

"Jack, Thanks for your time! -Harold Belser."

"The thing he valued most time"

Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days. "Why?" Janet, his assistant asked.

"I need some time to spend with my son," he said.

"Oh, by the way, Janet, thanks for your time!"

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away,"

To everyone I send this to:
 "ThankYou for your time".

"To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right." - Confucius

Chinese eye test


"Wishing you a happy Happy Festival of lights ~ Soft as silk ~ White as milk ~ Sweet as honey ~ Full of money" ~ Swami Harryanand

Why Chicago didn't get Olympics

Any questions !!!!!!!!!!

दर्द नशा है इस मदिरा का, विगत स्मृतियां साक़ी है, पीड़ा में आनन्द जिसे हो, आये मेरी मधुशाला/
लालाइत अधरों से जिसने हाय नहीं चूमी हाला,हर्श विकँपित करसे जिसने हाय न छुआ मधु का प्याला/
हाथ पकड़ लज्जित साक़ी का, पास नहीं जिसने खींचा, व्यर्थ सुखा डाली जीवन की, उसने मधुमय मधुशाला/
एक बरस में, एक बार ही, जगती होली की ज्वाला; एक बार ही लगती बाज़ी, जलती दीपों की माला/
दुनिया वालों किन्तु किसी दिन आ मदिरालय में देखो, दिन को होली, रात दिवाली, रोज़ मनाती मधुशाला/

*******Happy Deepawali********

Wishing You and your Family


   Very Happy Diwali!!!!!!


May the blessings of Lord always be with you  

 and may your life always sparkle with joy,

happiness, success and well being."












May this light of happiness, light up your life.
May this diwali be the most sparkling and lightening.
The sights and sounds filling up your heart with joy and happiness.

Wishing you and your family a very



मुस्कुराते हंसते दीप तुम जलाना - जीवन में नयी खुशिया लाना/
सुख सम्पदा आपके जीवन में आये - लक्ष्मीजी आपके घर में समाये/  
भूल कर भी आपके जीवन में एक भी दुःख ना आये/
जगमग जगमग जलते ये दीप - चारों तरफ रौशनी ही रौशनी हो/
Harry कि दुआ यही - होंटों पर आपके हरदम हसीं ही हसीं हो/