Management lessons

Thanks rajesh...

 

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel, "
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.

"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time,you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

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Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129 It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

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Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."

Puff!  She's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life."

Puff! He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story

Always let your boss have the first say.

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Lesson 4:

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure , why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

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Lesson 5:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey,"but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story

BullShit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

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Lesson 6:

A little bird was flying south for the Winter.It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of this story

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

Lesson 7:

Once 2 frogs came out of their well for the first time in hope of seeing the world and having some adventure. They jumped on and on and reached a nearby village and accidently fell into a bucket of milk. The first frog got scared to be in this new type of liquid, stopped jumping and so drowned and died in the milk. The second frog did not give up, and kept on jumping. After some time the milk canged to curds, and the frog was able to jump out of the milk bucket and thus survived.

Moral:– Keep trying even if you see others falling weak.

Lesson 8:

Due to summer the water from a well was almost dried off. There were many frog's in it, out of which some died and some survived. The ones who survived always tried to jump and get out of the well so that they can relocate themselves somewhere else. But all of them eventually stopped trying and died soon.

Finally only one frog was left who was continuously putting in hard efforts to come out of the well. The other frogs from their community who were outside the well shouted at him saying that "don't try to jump and come out or else even you will die like the others." But this frog never left trying.

The ones outside yelled at him, shouted against him, but this frog never left trying and finally managed to come out. All the other frog were amazed and tried to ask him about how he managed to come out. But again he never replied to them.

Finally at an instance it was discovered that the frog was Deaf and could not here. That' was the key to his success. He never heard the people yelling at him and advising him not to jump and stop trying.

All this time he always felt that all of them cheered him to boost his spirit and he kept on trying and finally managed to come out. And rest of the frog who actually heard the others stopped trying and died off.

Moral: Not every one would be motivating you or cheering you. Its up to you, "Whom to hear and whom to not."