Types Of Women

Types Of Women

HARD-DISK Woman:
She remembers everything, FOREVER.

RAM Woman:
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.

WINDOWS Woman:
Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live
without her.

EXCEL Woman:
They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for your
four basic needs.

SCREENSAVER Woman:
She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!

INTERNET Woman:
Difficult to access.

SERVER Woman:
Always busy when you need her.

MULTIMEDIA Woman:
She makes horrible things look beautiful.

CD-ROM Woman:
She is always faster and faster.

E-MAIL Woman:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

VIRUS Woman: Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she
comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to
uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall
her you will lose everything.

--
"Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man" ~ Benjamin Franklin

How to kill a lion in BANKING STYLE

How to kill a Lion in banking style?

HSBC Method :
Hire a lion. Give him full rest & make him lazy, Pay him more than his expectation, Never ask him to do any work upto six months, after six months tell him that now you have to fulfill ur yearly target within six months otherwise u will be kickout from jungle.

Lion dies due to fear, that if he loose this lazy animals jungle where he will go.

ICICI method:
Hire a lion. Give him hell a lot of work and pay him lower salary than his politically astute peers. Restructure his job, position, boss,
colleagues, designation, department, salary, location every 6 months. Remove all lions above 40 from the organization by giving them VRS. If he kills 2 goats a day, give him target of killing 20 elephants a day, when there are just 10 elephants in the jungle.

Lion dies of exhaustion, overkill and restructuring.

HDFC method:
Hire a lion and ask him to meow like a cat. Give him lots of ESOPs and grass to eat.

He will die eventually of hope and starvation.

Citibank method:
Hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't score 90% he will lose the job. Ask him to extract 60 kg meat out of a 40kg goat.
Lion dies of the strain.

ABN AMRO method:

Hire the lion. Give him high impossible targets and expect a premature delivery of these targets. If the targets are delivered, clap for him in a town hall and if not delivered humiliate him regularly.

Lion either dies of excitement or starts behaving like Tom Hanks in Terminal.

StanChart method:

Hire a lion; motivate him to outshine other lions in the jungle. Load him with impractical targets and if he finds the prey, ensure jackals in the jungle snatch the prey and the lion dies in oblivion......

Kotak method :

Hire a lion, load him with targets to focus on value instead of volume. Every quarter change the style and make his life miserable.

If he survives in the system reward him with a hefty bonus.

SBI Method:

Recruits a lion, give him the power of mouse.

Lion dies of over expectation and no results.............

Idbi method:

Recruits a lion, Give him posting among cats. People call him manager but he is actually a clerk. Expect to work as all rounder.

Lion dies in frustration or escapes to another jungle.

Deutsche Bank Method

Hire a Lion. Tell him that you need to work most of the day & half the night.
Also tell him that all the Lions in all the jungles are doing it & he shouldn't mind doing it.
Tell him that the work he does would make him king, even though he would be paid like a pauper.
Change the look of the jungle once in 5 years & tell him there's a new challenge for him, although the animals & trees in the jungle remain the same (beats me......what's the challenge).
Give the Lion some irrational motivational talks & tell him to wait till the grass turns blue in the jungle.

Lion dies waiting.

AND FINALLY

RBI Method:

Hire a lion and give him a 3000 page circular on how to kill a goat. Amend the circular atleast three times a day. Send him on inspection to the jungle, where he can threaten to cancel the hunting licence of any fox, wolf, bear, jackal etc who have violated any provision of the 3000 page circular.

Lion dies of boredom.

HOW TO IDENTIFY DIFFERENT CITIES OF INDIA:

Scenario 1
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, sees them and walks on.
That's MUMBAI
------------------------------

----------
Scenario 2
Two guys are fighting. Both of them take time out and call their friends on
their mobiles. Now 50 guys are fighting.
You are definitely in PUNJAB!!!
----------------------------------------
Scenario 3
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along and tries to make peace.
The first two get together and beat him up.
That's DELHI
----------------------------------------
Scenario 4
Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch.
A guy comes along and quietly opens a Chai-stall.
That's AHMEDABAD
----------------------------------------
Scenario 5
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes.
He writes a software program to stop the fight.
But the fight doesn't stop because of a virus in the program.
That's BANGALORE
----------------------------------------
Scenario 6
Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch.
A guy comes along and quietly says that "AMMA" doesn't like all this nonsense..
Peace settles in...
That's CHENNAI
----------------------------------------
Scenario 7
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, then a fourth
and they start arguing about who's right.
You are in KOLKATA
----------------------------------------
Scenario 8
Two guys are fighting. Third guy comes from nearby house and says,
"don't fight in front of my place, go sum where else and keep fighting".
That's KERALA!
----------------------------------------
And the best one is ....
Scenario 9
Two guys are fighting. Third guy comes along with a carton of beer.
All sit together drinking beer and abusing each other and all go home as friends.
You are in GOA!!!______________

The Buffalo Theory of Beer:

"Well ya see, it's like this...

A herd of  buffalo can  only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the  herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest  ones at  the back that are killed first This natural selection  is good  for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole  group keeps improving by the regular  killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can  only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of  alcohol, as we know,  kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain  cells first.

In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the  weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.  That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."  

super 30

good one rajesh..

 

http://getahead.rediff.com/report/2009/dec/15/meet-anand-kumar-of-super-30.htm

100 ways to be loved!

1. Remember to say "I love you" and "I need you" often.

2. Walk hand in hand in the rain.

3. Write a love poem.

4. Call a radio station and dedicate a favorite song.

5. Write "I Love You" in lipstick or shaving cream on the mirror.

6. Hide love notes in a lunch box, briefcase or purse.

7. Make heart-shaped cinnamon toast for breakfast.

8. Place a love note in the personals section of the newspaper.

9. Take a carriage ride around the city.

10. Plan a surprise getaway.

11. Do your mate's household chores.

12. Write notes on future dates in their date book ("I love you," I miss you," etc.)

13. Make reservations at a favorite restaurant.

14. Let them choose the movie.

15. Give a foot massage.

16. Make a heart-shaped bookmark, and place it in their book.

17. Pop in a romantic music CD and slow dance.

18. Throw a just-because surprise party for two.

19. Buy a stuffed animal for your honey.

20. Read each other's horoscopes.

21. Make a list of the top 10 things you love about your partner.

22. Display it in a prominent place.

23. Tattoo your mate's name on your body.

24. Make an album or scrapbook of your favorite memories together.

25. Go camping together and only take one sleeping bag.

26. Send a mushy message in a bottle...a balloon...a sandwich...

27. Cut out a silly cartoon that you know they'd enjoy.

28. Shower together.

29. Dim the lights, and snuggle together on the couch.

30. Be the first to say "I'm sorry" and kiss and make up.

31. Give each other a full-body massage.

32. Kiss every hour on the hour all day long.

33. Send a gift basket of indulgent items.

34. Write "I'm hot for you" in the steam on the bathroom mirror.

35. Ribbon wrap your bed with a big bow.

36. Fill up the gas tank of your partner's car.

37. Act like teenagers. Maybe even pierce something!

38. Show up with a bouquet of flowers -- for no reason at all.

39. Play Scrabble® together, using as many "love" words as you can.

40. Run a warm bubble bath for your partner, with lots of lit candles.

41. Meet in the park for a picnic.

42. Hold hands.

43. Leave a trail of rose petals through the house, leading to a romantic candlelight dinner.

44. Make a donation in your mate's name to a special cause or charity.

45. Pick up their clothes from the floor -- without saying a word about it.

46. Watch an old black and white romantic movie and share a bowl of popcorn.

47. Reenact your first date.

48. Surprise your partner with tickets to a special event.

49. An unexpected hug can brighten any day.

50. Buy a silly, impromptu gift.

51. Send an email just to say "I'm thinking of you."

52. Bring home a balloon bouquet.

53. Serve breakfast in bed.

54. Make an ornament with a picture of both of you for the Christmas tree.

55. Play tag.

56. Wash and wax your partner's car, and leave a little note on the dashboard.

57. Plant a garden together.

58. Leave a mushy message on voicemail.

59. Stay at a hotel for the night, just because.

60. Make angels in the snow.

61. Every time you say "hello" or "goodbye", seal it with a hug and a kiss.

62. Take a drive in the country.

63. Spend the evening looking at the stars -- and make a wish together.

64. Cast a playful wink any time, anywhere.

65. Think up a list of silly little pet names for times when you're alone together.

66. Read poetry to each other.

67. Celebrate your half-birthdays together.

68. Put a picture of both of you in your wallet.

69. Buy that favorite book or CD for no reason at all.

70. Send a care package to work filled with treats like food, photos, candy, a love note, heart-shaped confetti, etc.

71. Go out for the evening and tell people you're on your honeymoon.

72. Take a hike together and carve your initials in a tree.

73. Write a thank you note for all the things you take for granted.

74. Make a fire in the fireplace and roast marshmallows.

75. Tape your favorite TV show and spend the evening talking.

76. Do the dishes together, then apply hand lotion to each other's hands.

77. Write a love letter to your partner and cut it into jigsaw puzzle pieces.

78. Decide on secret signals and use them to communicate with each other in large groups of people.

79. Schedule a regular mid-week "date night" for just the two of you.

80. Do the laundry together.

81. Romance Theater Weekend: reenact each other's favorite love scene - hers on Friday, his on Saturday.

82. Call your partner at work and ask for a date.

83. Pretend you haven't seen each other for a month. Act accordingly.

84. Send a written invitation to do something special.

85. Take turns reading to each other.

86. Stand outside the window and sing a romantic song.

87. Hide favorite candy in your partner's coat pockets.

88. Put a tape recording of your voice (saying anything) in the car stereo and turn it on so it plays when the car starts.

89. Go to a drive-in movie.

90. Get up to turn off the last light after you're both comfy-cozy in bed.

91. Hold each other tight during a thunderstorm.

92. Make a tape recording of favorite love songs.

93. Leave a bunch of bananas on the kitchen table with a note, "I go bananas over you!"

94. Hide love notes in a magazine.

95. Declare your undying love via a telegram.

96. Make a romantic dinner together, and serve it on your finest china.

97. Surprise your partner with a big kiss on the neck.

98. Give unexpected compliments.

99. Share an ice cream cone.

100. Have a picnic on the living room floor.

Comforting Advice....Aweosme !!!!! must read

"Acid Terrorism" Against Women in Pakistan. Think twice before you go into the post. If you are weak heated please skip... This is really horrible. Faces of these women were mutilated by acid, and this is the work of bastards who call themselves men. This is such a strange way of solving problems (or revenge) in Pakistan. After the jump, you can look at these poor women and learn why the acid was thrown into their faces. Irum Saeed, 30, poses for a photograph at her office at the Urdu University of Islamabad, Pakistan, Thursday, July 24, 2008. Irum was burned on her face, back and shoulders twelve years ago when a boy whom she rejected for marriage threw acid on her in the middle of the street. She has undergone plastic surgery 25 times to try to recover from her scars. Shameem Akhter, 18, poses for a photograph at her home in Jhang, Pakistan, Wednesday, July 10, 2008. Shameem was raped by three boys who then threw acid on her three years ago. Shameem has undergone plastic surgery 10 times to try to recover from her scars. Najaf Sultana, 16, poses for a photograph at her home in Lahore, Pakistan on Wednesday, July 9, 2008. At the age of five Najaf was burned by her father while she was sleeping, apparently because he didn't want to have another girl in the family. As a result of the burning Najaf became blind and after being abandoned by both her parents she now lives with relatives. She has undergone plastic surgery around 15 times to try to recover from her scars. Shehnaz Usman, 36, poses for a photograph in Lahore, Pakistan, Sunday, Oct. 26, 2008. Shehnaz was burned with acid by a relative due to a familial dispute five years ago. Shehnaz has undergone plastic surgery 10 times to try to recover from her scars. Shahnaz Bibi, 35, poses for a photograph in Lahore, Pakistan, Sunday, Oct. 26, 2008. Ten years ago Shahnaz was burned with acid by a relative due to a familial dispute. She has never undergone plastic surgery. Kanwal Kayum, 26, adjusts her veil as she poses for a photograph in Lahore, Pakistan, Sunday, Oct. 26, 2008. Kanwal was burned with acid one year ago by a boy whom she rejected for marriage. She has never undergone plastic surgery. Munira Asef, 23, poses for a photograph in Lahore, Pakistan, Sunday, Oct. 26, 2008. Munira was burned with acid five years ago by a boy whom she rejected for marriage. She has undergone plastic surgery 7 times to try to recover from her scars. Bushra Shari, 39, adjusts her veil as she poses for a photograph in Lahore, Pakistan, Friday, July. 11, 2008. Bushra was burned with acid thrown by her husband five years ago because she was trying to divorce him. She has undergone plastic surgery 25 times to try to recover from her scars. Memuna Khan, 21, poses for a photograph in Karachi, Pakistan, Friday, Dec. 19, 2008. Menuna was burned by a group of boys who threw acid on her to settle a dispute between their family and Menuna's. She has undergone plastic surgery 21 times to try to recover from her scars. Zainab Bibi, 17, adjusts her veil as she poses for a photograph in Islamabad, Pakistan, Wednesday, Dec. 24, 2008. Zainab was burned on her face with acid thrown by a boy whom she rejected for marriage five years ago. She has undergone plastic surgery several times to try to recover from her scars. Naila Farhat, 19, poses for a photograph in Islamabad, Pakistan, Wednesday, Dec. 24, 2008. Naila was burned on her face with acid thrown by a boy whom she rejected for marriage five years ago. She has undergone plastic surgery several times to try to recover from her scars. Saira Liaqat, 26, poses for the camera as she holds a portrait of herself before being burned, at her home in Lahore, Pakistan, Wednesday, July 9, 2008. When she was fifteen, Saira was married to a relative who would later attack her with acid after insistently demanding her to live with him, although the families had agreed she wouldn't join him until she finished school. Saira has undergone plastic surgery 9 times to try to recover from her scars.     -- I pray the Almighty to be bless me with the wisdom of old age & energy of youth. May my grudges, resentments, frustrations & jealousies disappear. May i get the strength to be significant & not successful. May my integrity, compassion & sacrifice encourage & empower others. May i live a Life that Matters.

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The INTERNET now has a personality. YOURS! See your Yahoo! Homepage.

Are you a beggar?

Are you  a beggar? ….. one remains a beggar. Our whole life proves it again and again -- every desire frustrates. And when the goal is achieved, you will need another desire. The day you understand that desire as such is going to fail comes the turning point in your life. ….. Are you a beggar ? An emperor was coming out of his palace for his morning walk when he met a beggar. He asked the beggar, "What do you want?"The beggar laughed and said, "You are asking me as though you can fulfill my desire!" The king was offended. He said, "Of course I can fulfill your desire. What is it? Just tell me." And the beggar said, "Think twice before you promise anything." The beggar was no ordinary beggar, he was the emperors past life master. He had promised in that life, "I will come and try to wake you in your next life. This life you have missed but I will come again." But the king had forgotten completely -- who remembers past lives? So he insisted, "I will fulfill anything you ask. I am a very powerful emperor, what can you possibly desire that I can not give to you?" The beggar said, "It is a very simple desire. You see this begging bowl? Can you fill it with something?" The emperor said, "Of course!" He called one of his viziers and told him, "Fill this mans begging bowl with money." The vizier went and got some money and poured it into the bowl, and it disappeared. And he poured more and more, and the moment he would pour it, it would disappear. And the beggging bowl remained always empty. The whole palace gathered. By and by the rumor went throughout the whole capital, and a huge crowd gathered. The prestige of the emperor was at stake. He said to his viziers, "If the whole kingdom is lost, I am ready to lose it, but I cannot be defeated by this beggar." Diamonds and pearls and emeralds, his treasuries were becoming empty.The begging bowl seemed to be bottomless. Everything that was put into it --everything! --immediately disappeared, went out of existence. Finally it was the evening, and the people were standing there in utter silence. The king dropped at the feet of the beggar and admitted his defeat. he said, "Just tell me one thing. You are victorious - but before you leave, just fulfill my curiousity. What is the begging bowl made of?" The beggar laughed and said, "It is made up of the human mind. There is no secret. It is simple made up of human desire." This understanding transforms life. Go into one desire -- what is the mechanism of it? First there is a great excitement, great thrill, adventure. you feel a great kick. Something is going to happen, you are on the verge of it. And then you have the car, you have the yacht, you have the house, you have the woman, and suddenly all is meaningless again. What happens? Your mind has dematerialized it. The car is standing in the drive, but there is no excitement anymore. The excitement was only in getting it. You became so drunk with the desire that you forgot your inner nothingness. Now the desire is fulfilled, the car in the drive, the woman in your bed, the money in your bank account - again excitement disappears. Again the emptiness is there, ready to eat you up. Again you have to create another desire to escape this yawning abyss. That's how one moves from one desire to another desire. That's how one remains a beggar. Your whole life proves it again and again -- every desire frustrates. And when the goal is achieved, you will need another desire. The day you understand that desire as such is going to fail comes the turning point in your life. The other journey is inwards. move inwards, come back home.

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The INTERNET now has a personality. YOURS! See your Yahoo! Homepage.

Bill Gate's Car and the Reception Office at Microsoft ...

look at Bill Gate's Car and the Reception Office at Microsoft ....

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The INTERNET now has a personality. YOURS! See your Yahoo! Homepage.

vacant berth status...

nice site for vacant berth status...

http://indiarailinfo.com/

How numerals 0 - 9 got their shape

Happy sunday to all friends...!

Read this first, then open the Attachment
  
How numerals 0 - 9 got their shape: Do you know why numbers look like they do? Someone, at some point in time, had to create their shapes and meaning.
 
Watch this short presentation and then you will know how our Arabic numbers were originally created a very long time ago and what logic the people that created them used to determine their shapes. It is really very simple and quite creative?

 

You have to admire the intelligence of a person/s that created something so simple and perfect that it has lasted for thousands and thousands of years and will probably never change.
 
When the presentation gets to the number "seven" you will notice that the 7 has a line through the middle of it. That was the way the Arabic 7 was originally written, and in Europe and certain other areas they still write the 7 that way.  Also, in the military, they commonly write it that way. The nine has a kind of curly tail on it that has been reduced,  for the most part nowadays, to a simple curve, but the logic involved still applies.
 
Click on the right arrow each time you want to advance the slide show.

 

 

JACK DANIELS FISHING STORY

Read it….really nice JJ
 
I finally got around to going fishing this morning but after a while I ran out of worms.

Then I saw a cottonmouth snake with a frog in his mouth, and frogs are good bass bait.

Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth, I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog and put it in my bait bucket.

Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit.

I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth.

His eyes rolled back, he went limp, I released him into the lake without incident, And carried on my fishing with the frog.

A little later I felt a nudge on my foot.

There was that same snake with two frogs in his mouth.
 

स्वार्थी कहूं या संत तुम्हें...

क्योंकि स्वार्थी हो गये थे तुम...
अपने में ईश्वर को भी नहीं पहचान पाये तुम !
तुम्हीं तो थे जो साथ लिए मुझे..
मंदिर में जाया करते
ईश्वर को सच्चे प्यार का विश्वास दिलाया करते
तब...तब मैं भाव विभोर हो देखा करती तुम्हें...
कितने लीन होकर तुम उस परम पिता को
साक्षी बना रहे थे अपने प्यार का !
और हाँ..... वह साक्षी बना भी
हर बार की तरह वह मुस्कराकर
आशीर्वाद देता भी।
तुम कितने निश्पाप मन से
ईश्वर से मुझको मांगा करते
तब उस वक्त मैं तुम्हारी आंखों में प्रेम की
निर्मल धारा बहते देखती और...
उतर जाती उस ईश्वर की प्यास में
चली जाती तुम्हारे साथ उस ईश्वर की आस में
ईश्वर को छलते तुम या मुझको छलते ?
मै तो ईश्वर को पा रही थी तुम्हारे साथ चलते !
बैखौफ़ सी उन पगडंडियों में चली जा रही थी मैं
जिनके सपने तुम दिखा रहे थे मुझे
सपनों की दुनिया में उड़ रही थी बिन पंख लगाये
द‍ृष्टा बनना था मुझे...बन गयी द‍ृष्टिहीन
छोड आये तुम मुझे उस अन्तहीन छोर पर
जहां से आगे न मंजिल थी न कोई डगर
अब...अब तो मैं हूं अकेली
पथराई पहेली सी..
लौट आई फ़िर वहीं...
जहां छला जाना ही औरत की नियति है
लेकिन जानती है.....फिर भी चलना जानती है
प्यार में ठोकर मिले तो क्या ?
प्यार में कुछ क्षण ईश्वर को तो पा ही लेती है !
तुम्हें नहीं आया ईश्वर को पाना तो क्या....
ये तुम्हारी बदनसीबी है
आज तुम मुझसे प्यार करने की गलती का प्रायश्चित कर रहे हो
और मैं...तप्त...शांत...गहरी झील सी..
औरत की तरह प्यार करके तो देखो....
ईश्वर को सच्चा मान कर तो देखो....
वह महसूस कराता है
अपने को तुम्हारे भीतर रहकर!
अब दर्द नहीं कोई गिला नहीं
न छले जाने का कोई दुख !
....फ़िर भी तुम्हारी शुक्रगुजार हूं मैं
क्योंकि किसी एक क्षण में जब मैं ईश्वर में थी...
उस तक पहुंचने का माध्यम तुम्हीं तो थे !
हां तुम्हीं...!
ऋणी रहूंगी तुम्हारी उस एक पल के लिए
जब ईश्वर का साक्षात्कार हुआ.....
और उस कान्हा से प्यार हुआ.......
सुना है संत ही ईश्वर के दर्शन कराते हैं....
उस तक पहुंचने का रास्ता बताते हैं...
तुम्हीं कहो उस तक पहुंचने के लिए
स्वार्थी कहूं या संत तुम्हें....?

कुछ पल जिन्दगी जैसे... विडम्बना

 

कुछ पल जिन्दगी जैसे , जिंदगी के ही दामन से चुरा लिए मैंने । उन्ही जीवंत पलों को शब्दों मे पिरो कर पेश कर रहा हूँ । ये महफ़िल है मेरे दिल की , यहाँ कुछ गीत मिलेंगे सुर छेड़ते हुए , कुछ गज़लें होंगी हाथों मे जाम लिए , कुछ कवितायेँ भी मिलेंगी गहरी आँखों वाली , कुछ किस्से कुछ किरदार , इनमे से कुछ भी अगर आपके दिल को छू पाये तो खुशकिस्मत समझूंगा अपने आप को ....

जिन्दगी

बहुत सालों पहले जिन्दगी को समझने की एक कोशिश में मिली थी ये ग़ज़ल ... पेश ए नज़र है यारों ।

दर्द की एक दास्ताँ है जिन्दगी,
मौत का ही तो आइना है जिन्दगी ।

सच की पथरीली जमी पर,
झूठ का एक आसमा है जिन्दगी ।

दोस्तो से अजनबी और,
दुश्मनों से आशना है जिन्दगी ।

वक़्त बहता पानी है और,
बूँद का एक बुलबुला है जिन्दगी ।

हर कदम अंधा सफ़र है,
हादसों का सिलसिला है जिन्दगी ।

 

विडम्बना

डरी सहमी ऑंखें,
चेहरे पर हताशा,
तन पर कपड़े नदारद,
घुटनों को छाती से चिपकाये,
बेडियों में जकड़ी काया,
शून्य को घूरती हुई,
कहीं कुछ ढूँढती है शायद,
निश्ब्द्ता में भी है कोलाहल,
ह्रदय में जारी है उम्र की कवायद,
मगज एक मरघट हो जैसे,
कुछ चिताएँ जल रहीं हैं,
कुछ लाशें सडी हुई सीं,
पडी हुईं हैं, जिन पर,
भिनभिनाती है मक्खियाँ,
जैसे - कुछ अनसुलझी गुत्थियाँ,
कुछ अनुत्तरित सवालों का समूह्गान जैसे,
कैसी विडम्बना है ये,
आखिर हम मुक्त क्यों नही हो पाते...???

Jane n Tarzan

> When Jane initially met Tarzan in the jungle, she was
> attracted to him,
>
> And during her questions about his life , she asked him how
> he had sex?
>
>
> 
>
>
> 'Tarzan not know sex' he replied.
>
>
> Jane explained to him what sex was.
>
>
> 
>
>
> Tarzan said 'Oh,....Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of
> tree.'
>
>
> 
>
>
> Horrified Jane said, ' Tarzan you have it all wrong,
> but I will show you how to do it properly.'
>
>
> 
>
>
> She took off her clothing and laid down on the ground.
>
>
> 'Here' she said,pointing to her privates, 'you
> must put it in here.'
>
>
> 
>
>
> Tarzan removed his loin cloth, showing Jane his
> considerable manhood,stepped closer to her and kicked her in
> the crotch !
>
>
> 
>
>
> Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an
> eternity.
>
>
> 
>
>
> Eventually she managed to grasp for air and screamed '
> What did you do that for ?'
>
>
> 
> Tarzan replied, 'Check for squirrel.'
> 




--
"A University Professor set an examination question wherein he asked what is the difference between ignorance & apathy. He had to give an A+ to the student who answered: I dont know & I dont care." - Richard Pratt

धूप ही क्यों धूप ही क्यों छांव भी दो

धूप ही क्यों धूप ही क्यों छांव भी दो
पंथ ही क्यों पांव भी दो
सफर लम्बी हो गई अब, ठहरने को गांव भी दो ।

प्यास ही क्यों नीर भी
दो धार ही क्यों तीर भी दो
जी रही पुरुषार्थ कब से, अब मुझे तकदीर भी दो ।

पीर ही क्यों प्रीत भी दो
हार ही क्यों जीत भी दो
शुन्य में खोए बहुत अब, चेतना को गीत भी दो ।

ग्रन्थ ही क्यों ज्ञान भी दो
ज्ञान ही क्यों ध्यान भी दो

तुम हमारी अस्मिता को,
अब निजी पहचान भी दो ।




तुम हमारी अस्मिता को, अब निजी पहचान भी दो ।

GM.....+ tve talk

Robert De Vincenzo, the great Argentine golfer, once won a tournament
and, after receiving the check and
smiling for the cameras, he went to the clubhouse and prepared to
leave. Some time later, he walked alone to
his car in the parking lot and was approached by a young woman.

She congratulated him on his victory and then told him that her child
was seriously ill and near death.
She did not know how she could pay the doctor's bills and hospital expenses.

De Vincenzo was touched by her story, and he took out a pen and
endorsed his winning check for payment to
the woman. "Make some good days for the baby," he said as he pressed
the check into her hand.

The next week he was having lunch in a country club when a
Professional Golf Association official came to
his table. "Some of the boys in the parking lot last week told me you
met a young woman there after you won
that tournament." De Vincenzo nodded.

"Well," said the official, "I have news for you. She's a phony. She
has no sick baby. She's not even married. She fleeced you, my
friend."

"You mean there is no baby who is dying?" said De Vincenzo.

"That's right," said the official.

"That's the best good news I've heard all week." De Vincenzo said.

Harivansh Rai Bachchan

Harivanshrai "Bachchan" Srivastava (November 27, 1907 – January 18,
2003) was a distinguished Hindi poet, perhaps best known for his early
work Madhushala . He is also the father of Bollywood film superstar,
Amitabh Bachchan.

Life
He was born as Harivanshrai Srivastava into a Kayasth family on
November 27, 1907 at a small town (of Patti, in district of
Pratapgarh,U.P.) near Allahabad in the United Provinces (modern Uttar
Pradesh). He was called "bachchan" (meaning 'child') at home. He
received his formal schooling in a municipal school and followed the
family tradition of attending Kayasth Paathshaalas (?????? ???????) to
learn Urdu as the first step to a career in law. He later studied at
the Allahabad University and Banaras Hindu University. In this period,
he came under the influence of the independence movement, then under
the leadership of Mahatma Gandhi.

In 1926, at the age of 19, Bachchan married his first wife, Shyama,
who was then 14 years old. However she died ten years later in 1936
after a long spell of TB at just 24 years of age. Shortly after his
first wife's death, Bachchan married Teji Suri, a Sikh, in 1941. The
marriage produced two sons, Amitabh and Ajitabh.

From 1941 to 1952 he taught English at the Allahabad University and
then spent two years at Cambridge University in St Catharine's
College, Cambridge. There he studied with the famous English
literature don, Thomas Rice Henn, and received a doctorate in English
Literature for his work on the Irish poet W.B. Yeats. It was then,
that he used 'Bachchan' as his last name instead of Srivastav.
Bachchan was the second Indian to get his doctorate in English
literature from Cambridge University.

Returning to India, he taught briefly and then worked as a producer
for All India Radio, Allahabad. In 1955, Harivanshrai moved to Delhi
to join the Ministry of External Affairs of the Government of India
and there he was closely involved with the evolution of Hindi as the
official language of the nation.

Bachchan used to introduce himself as Mitti ka tan, masti ka man,
kshan-bhar jivan ? mera parichay. (?????? ?? ??, ????? ?? ??, ???? ??
????, ???? ?????) (A body of clay, a mind full of play, a moment?s
life – that is me).

Harivanshrai Bachchan died on January 18, 2003, at the age of 95, as a
result of various respiratory ailments.
Work
He is best known for his early lyric poem Madhushala (The House of
Wine), which has been translated into English and many regional Indian
languages including Bengali, Marathi and Malayalam. It forms part of a
trilogy, along with Madhubala (???????) and Madhukalash (??????).
Bachchan published about 30 volumes of poetry. He translated
Shakespeare's Macbeth and Othello, Omar Khayyam's Rubaiyat, the
Bhagavad Gita (???? ????) and W.B. Yeats into Hindi. His works include
Nisha Nimantran (???? ????????), Khadi Ke Phool (???? ?? ???), Ekant
Sangeet (????? ?????) and Satrangini (????????). In November, 1984, he
wrote his last poem Ek November 1984 on Indira Gandhi?s assassination.
His autobiography, consisting of four volumes namely Kya bhooloon kya
yaad karoon (???? ????? ???? ??? ????), Need ka nirmaan fir (???? ??
??????? ???), Basere se door (????? ?? ???) and Dashdwaar se sopaan
tak (??????? ?? ????? ??) (abridged and translated into English as In
the Afternoon of Time) was chosen for the Saraswati Samman.
Honors
Bachchan was nominated to the Rajya Sabha, the Upper House of the
Indian Parliament in 1966, and received the Sahitya Akademi award
three years later. In 1976, he was honoured with the Padma Bhushan and
the Saraswati Samman for his contribution to Hindi literature. He is a
recipient of the Soviet Land Nehru Award and the Lotus Award of the
Afro-Asian writers conference. In 2003, an Indian postage stamp was
released in his memory.
Trivia
At present, more people may know Bachchan as being father to India's
best-known film actor, Amitabh Bachchan, than know his reputation as a
poet.
The creator of the great collection 'Madhushala ' is often thought to
be a great admirer of wonder solutions himself. It is wrongly believed
that the creator of one of the most famous poems on wine (Madhushala)
never drank liquor. In reality, he had never drank liquor till the
time he completed Madhushala. He did drink, although sparingly, later
in his life, a fact that he admits to in his autobiography.
One of his inspirational poems, "agneepath" was used as the title and
the theme for the 1991 blockbuster movie Agneepath (translates: path
of fire) featuring his superstar son Amitabh Bachchan as a ruthless
mafia don. This movie was a massive success earning Amitabh Bachchan a
National Award for his performance. You can see Amitabh narrating the
poem through out the movie.
The poem describes the entire gamut of sufferings that the human race
had gone through and is going through.

Here is the actual poem :

Vriksh ho bhale ghane, ho ghane ho bade, Ek pat chhav ki mang mat,
mang mat, Agneepath Agneepath Agneepath.

Tu na thakega kabhi, tu na thamega kabhi, tu na mudega kabhi, Kar
shapath, kar shapath, kar shapath, Agneepath, Agneepath, Agneepath.

Ye mahaan drishya hai, chal raha manushya hai, Ashru swed raqt se
lathpath, lathpath, lathpath, Agneepath, Agneepath, Agneepath.
Bollywood star Abhishek Bachchan, grandson of Harivansh Rai Bachchan,
was married to Aishwarya Rai April 20th, 2007. One of Harivansh Rai
Bachchan poems regarding new beginnings was enclosed in the wedding
invitations.

17 Principles of Personal Achievement by Napoleon Hill

For most of his life, Napoleon Hill lived with the conviction that every failure carried with it the seed of equivalent advantage. Here are his 17 principles for extraordinary achievement.

Lesson 1: Definiteness of Purpose
Definiteness of purpose is the starting point of all achievement. Without a purpose and a plan, people drift aimlessly through life.

Lesson 2: Mastermind Alliance
The Mastermind principle consists of an alliance of two or more minds working in perfect harmony for the attainment of a common definite objective. Success does not come without the cooperation of others.

Lesson 3: Applied Faith
Faith is a state of mind through which your aims, desires, plans and purposes may be translated into their physical or financial equivalent.

Lesson 4: Going the Extra Mile
Going the extra mile is the action of rendering more and better service than that for which you are presently paid. When you go the extra mile, the Law of Compensation comes into play.

Lesson 5: Pleasing Personality
Personality is the sum total of one's mental, spiritual and physical traits and habits that distinguish one from all others. It is the factor that determines whether one is liked or disliked by others.

Lesson 6: Personal Initiative
Personal initiative is the power that inspires the completion of that which one begins. It is the power that starts all action. No person is free until he learns to do his own thinking and gains the courage to act on his own.

Lesson 7: Positive Mental Attitude
Positive mental attitude is the right mental attitude in all circumstances. Success attracts more success while failure attracts more failure.

Lesson 8: Enthusiasm
Enthusiasm is faith in action. It is the intense emotion known as burning desire. It comes from within, although it radiates outwardly in the expression of one's voice and countenance.

Lesson 9: Self-Discipline
Self-discipline begins with the mastery of thought. If you do not control your thoughts, you cannot control your needs. Self-discipline calls for a balancing of the emotions of your heart with the reasoning faculty of your head.

Lesson 10: Accurate Thinking
The power of thought is the most dangerous or the most beneficial power available to man, depending on how it is used.

Lesson 11: Controlled Attention
Controlled attention leads to mastery in any type of human endeavor, because it enables one to focus the powers of his mind upon the attainment of a definite objective and to keep it so directed at will.

Lesson 12: Teamwork
Teamwork is harmonious cooperation that is willing, voluntary and free. Whenever the spirit of teamwork is the dominating influence in business or industry, success is inevitable. Harmonious cooperation is a priceless asset that you can acquire in proportion to your giving.

Lesson 13: Adversity & Defeat
Individual success usually is in exact proportion of the scope of the defeat the individual has experienced and mastered. Many so-called failures represent only a temporary defeat that may prove to be a blessing in disguise.

Lesson 14: Creative Vision
Creative vision is developed by the free and fearless use of one's imagination. It is not a miraculous quality with which one is gifted or is not gifted at birth.

Lesson 15: Health
Sound health begins with a sound health consciousness, just as financial success begins with a prosperity consciousness.

Lesson 16: Budgeting Time & Money
Time and money are precious resources, and few people striving for success ever believe they possess either one in excess.

Lesson 17: Habits
Developing and establishing positive habits leads to peace of mind, health and financial security. You are where you are because of your established habits and thoughts and deeds.

—Napoleon Hill