Sunday, July 26, 2009

European English

EU official language alert!!!!

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which
was the other possibility.


As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English" .


In  the  first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph"
will  be replaced with "f".
This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.


In the 3rd year, publik  akseptanse  of  the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage  where! more  komplikated  changes  are possible. Governments  will  enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the language is disgrasful and it should go away.


By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".


During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be drop d from vords containing "ou" and after ziz  fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.


Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evri vun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru...


Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.


If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl

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